Peppard (A) – 13.7.14

RUASCC 145-9 dec.

D.Singh 59, Greenhalf 16, Harley 16

Peppard 148-8

Jordan 4-26, Waqar 2-28, Zia 1-19

RUASCC lost by 2 wickets

Have you ever sat alone in a quiet room, pondering the nature of existence?  Have you considered the notion that the world exists only in your imagination, and that “other people” simply cease to exist the moment you stop thinking about them?

Perhaps you can see the sun shining on neighbouring rooftops; trees swaying in the breeze.  Close your eyes, are they still there?  Maybe you pick up a book filled with the unconscious thoughts from the unexplored areas in the back of your mind.  The author doesn’t exist; that book is whatever you think it might be.

Weird, huh?  You invented God, Roald Dahl, Jabba the Hutt and Michael McIntyre.  What the hell is wrong with you?  Your wife, your boss, your bin men: all imagined, all lurking in the dark waiting for you to think them back to life.

Have you ever missed a RUASCC game?  Have you ever wondered how such an event might pan out without you, without the logical progression of the afternoon unfolding as you might experience it?  Obviously it doesn’t really happen.  You weren’t there, so how could it?

But it was on the fixture list so it must have happened.  And you didn’t imagine it raining in Reading that day so there’s no reason it would have been called off.  So in your logical, rational brain it must have happened, therefore runs must have been scored and wickets must have been taken.  But who, and how, and in what order?  Remember, the brain needs to make it somehow believable or the façade will slip and you’ll be confronted with the limitations of the universe in your own head and you’ll go absolutely stark staring bonkers.

Step one

In order to invent a story that makes some kind of sense you need to hear it from a reputable source: how about an email from the “Captain”, “Dr Eagle”  Or a match report from that bowler.

Step two

It needs to be somehow in keeping with what you expect: we couldn’t get a full team together, and we lost.

Seems reasonable so far.

Step three

Players you “know” need to be consistent: couple of wickets for Waqar; Greenhalf hits 16 in the middle order.  Righty-ho.

Step four

Leave no clues that the entire match is simply the concoction of a fragile imagination: Daman Singh scored 59.

Daman Singh scored 59.

DAMAN SINGH SCORED FIFTY-NINE!!!!

The world goes dark.  You hear the sound of screaming.  You realise it’s coming from you.

You are alone.

RUASCC Man of the Match:  Well, probably Daman if you believe a damn word of it.

RUASCC Team:  Alfie (guest), D.Singh, Karthee, Zia (capt), Dip, Greenhalf (wkt), Main, Waqar, Harley (guest), Jagesh, Jordan (guest)