Braywood (A) - 25.7.10

While I was up here:



This was going on down here:

A team resembling normality in personnel if not in personality met at Braywood on a day that always threatened rain which never came. Trant lost the toss, which hardly needs any comment nowadays but that’s ten in a row for the club this season. We fielded, so all’s well… Koslicki and Main opened well enough but the openers dispatched any loose balls over the fast outfield.

The first wicket fell at 58 courtesy of Main, followed by Ken beguiling their good opener to pat one to Ward at point. That was about it as highlights went as their third wicket put on 99 runs until Trant took one at deep gully from Koslicki. Eagle took a good running catch also from Koslicki whilst Baker bowled tightly at the other end to stem further runs and take two wickets but, having faced 45 overs, Braywood set 233 as a target.

The tea was gargantuan and would have covered three fixtures. Ward and Eagle opened against two spinners; Eagle was looking on form until he smacked a full toss straight into their leaping skipper’s hands at short cover for 4. Ward followed soon for 1 and Dip’s lack of recent form continued as RUASCC slumped to 37-3. Chan was unlucky to be caught and bowled for 7, and now we were 45-4!

But Carpenter was there and his trademark backfoot lifted pulls to leg were ominously building up runs. He was joined by Baker who played second fiddle for much of their 114 run partnership. Carpo was in scintillating form as he pulled and cut his way to a quick fifty and higher. Then the day took a turn for the worse as Carpo, as last week, called for a quick one and Baker selflessly ran himself out for 41.

Sam took his place and we still looked on for the win, needing a run a ball. But again a poor call ended in a needless run out, alas of Carpo on 97 (including 15 fours and one six); what an innings, it deserved a century! Sam continued to hit hard with Bruce employing his sweep but a top edge ended his innings. The win now looked unlikely especially when Ken, struggling with an injured hip, took a wander up the track thinking the keeper had missed the ball only to find he hadn’t and was run out!

Despair was replacing joy on the bench as now even the draw looked shaky, not helped as Koslicki went first ball to their skipper who had decided some pace might now be a good idea. Main and Tranter are normally a safe pair of blockers but the tragedy was completed as Bruce was bowled off his legs with two balls remaining and staff lost by 21 runs. Another day of “Ifs and Buts”, and really disappointing not to have won let alone drawn this game.

Highlight and Man of the Match: Carpo and his 97.

Team: Ward, Eagle, Carpenter, Dip (wkt), Chan, Baker, Griffiths, Main, Stewart, Koslicki, Tranter (capt)

Report Writer With Merit: Dr Eagle

Tilehurst & Theale (H&A) - 18.7.10

My thanks once again to Dr Eagle for penning this week's match report. I had a lovely holiday, thank you for asking.

Just when it all seemed to have gone well in that we had managed to find 11 players, the afternoon took a turn for the worse before making a handbrake turn into the bizarre!

T&T thought they were playing away and had booked out their pitch, we heard from our “scout” Wardy and from an early arrival from the opposition. Eagle & Carpenter tried, with their undoubted charms, to persuade the Sports centre to allow us the main pitch but all we were offered was the artificial 2nd pitch. Well, seeing that our other choice was to cancel we trekked to the forbidding oval that is the 2nd pitch. Eagle lost the toss (9 times in a row for RUASCC now) and a youthful (and I mean that as in “fast, fit, threatening and cocky”) T&T batted.

Zia and Jagesh opened, and it was with much satisfaction that Eagle took a catch at long off, Zia having just told him to drop back a bit as he was going to try a slow one! This was the first of eight catches for RUASCC. Two more wickets fell as Venu took catches off Zia and Jagesh, one a good diving effort. Their older left handed opener (he must have been at least 30) looked solid until he smacked one that seemed destined to be a stylish four to long off until Ken Stewart somehow grabbed hold of it as it just passed the non-strikers wicket. It was a miraculous catch and Ken’s day got better as he replaced Zia and took two wickets in two balls. His slow, flighty deliveries encouraged rash shots from the middle order and catches went to Carpenter twice, Weeks and Ravi to give him figures of 10-0-48-4. T&T rallied for the 8th wicket but a brilliant run out from Ravi from Venu’s bowling had the innings nearly complete and T&T declared on 192-9.

After an al fresco tea, Ward and Eagle opened and were met by some immediately fierce bowing, the concrete belly of the artificial track giving higher bounce than they were expecting. Eagle pulled and cut two fours, then successfully ducked a fast bouncer. And then he ducked, again, one that did not bounce so much; which was a mistake as he soon realised when the lump on the back of his head appeared! Retiring to nurse his blow (and I do realise it could have been SO much worse), Zia took to the stage and smote the ball to all parts as is his wont; he was dropped twice which spurred him on to make 43 before sadly retiring to go to work! I do think we could have won the game if he hadn’t! Ward, after a promising start of some lovely shots went for 19.

Weeks did not last long, run out after a rather optimistic (tactically so?) call from Carpo. He was replaced by Ravi who was a guest courtesy of Jagesh. He had a few runs before he too retired and was carried off with a pulled hamstring! You see what I meant by “bizarre”! Ashman’s sub, Adam Seymour, took his place and things slowed down rather, especially when Carpo went for 18, another stylish start unfinished.

So it was that Eagle took to the crease again and T&T thought it would be fun to put back on the young tearaway who had struck earlier on. Eagle thought it wise to don a helmet at this point. What followed was something like Atherton facing Donald! With a silly mid off and on, both in helmets and an orthodox and fly slip cordon, the youngster bowled bouncer after bouncer. Eagle hit two successive pulls for four before moving to the offside and upper cutting with gay abandon, at one point clearing both slip rings and nearly scoring a six. Suddenly the run rate picked up, although things the other end were rather too slow, even after Adam had been replaced by a walking Ravi (plus Weeks as runner).

One wonders if a judicious substitution of Ken at this point would have helped our chase; “Ifs and Buts” as the Great Leader would say. Eagle continued to deal mostly in fours and withstand the attack but it was too late perhaps to make up for lost time earlier. So RUASCC made the draw and Eagle made 43 not out whilst probably concussed. Twenty runs short - irritatingly only one run per over for the last 20 overs, which made it seem at once an honourable draw and a missed chance.

RUASCC Highlight of the Match: Probably Ken's stupendous catch, but mentions to the batting of Zia & Eagle.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Ken Stewart for his 4 for 48 and that catch (Zia and Eagle also contenders).

RUASCC: Ward (wkt), Eagle (capt), Zia, Carpenter, Weeks, Ravi, Seymour, Venu, Stewart, Jagesh, Ashman

Peppard (A) - 11.7.10

The day started on a surprising note as Tranter didn’t lose the toss – Eagle did instead. Standing in as skipper, Eagle continued our fine tradition of calling incorrectly and on a hot sunny day with a baked brown outfield RUASCC were asked to have a bowl. In a team missing all the usual wicketkeepers (no Young Sam, Dip, Dersh or Chan) Wardy took the gloves and discovered a joy in fielding he never knew
existed!

And so the match began. Main, bowling tightly as ever, saw an edge dropped in the slips while Withers, from the Pavilion end, dragged a metaphorical sack of horse manure onto the square and started smearing it around the place. As each of the first four balls of his fifth over flew to the boundary the score passed 50 and the Peppard openers looked in complete control.

But with the score on 63-0 Withers was dragged round the back of the pavilion and shot twice in the head out of kindness, while Zia replaced him and found success immediately: bowling Dyer with his first ball then catching Hayden Junior with his third. And it wasn’t long before the score was 84-4 as the irresistible Zia, bowling off his longer run-up, ripped further into the top order.

In the other bowling change Koslicki replaced Main and started the longest spell of his life. Bowling at a decent pace his early overs were short on luck as more runs went through third man but he eventually made the breakthrough with a tasty Yorker as Peppard, with plenty of teenagers in the batting line-up, struggled past 100 with
six wickets already down.

With 30 overs gone Zia was replaced by guest Adam Finlay who had already impressed with his fielding. “He’s got a good arm, is that because he’s young?” asked one man who isn’t young. Finlay bagged a wicket in his second over as a mistimed drive flew over his head and into the safe hands of the onrushing Dr Eagle. “Yes!” he cried as his gallop took him almost to the other end of the pitch before he was able to stop.

Eagle soon followed this up with another catch at mid-off as Koslicki’s fine spell started to return the rewards it deserved. The arrival of Chard Senior helped to push the Peppard total up past 150 and he had helped himself to 30 before top-edging a full toss, caught safely by Ward running back towards fine-leg. Another wicket for
Koslicki meant he finished with 4-40 from his 11 overs.

Zia returned for the final over and with the very last ball of the innings a long-distance stumping from Ward, looking increasingly comfortable behind the stumps, gave him superb figures of 5-20 from ten overs. Peppard all out for 164 - the first time RUASCC have bowled out an opposition side this season.

Buoyed by another superb tea, Eagle and Ward set off in confident fashion and reached their second fifty partnership of the season thanks in part to some helpful full tosses from the young opening bowlers. With no one fielding deep on the leg side Ward was able to swing the bat, and Eagle’s impressive form continued as he outscored his partner in the early stages. Eagle eventually fell for 24 to an
outstanding slip catch but the foundations were already laid at 55-1.

Carpenter (4) wasn’t able to get going and his dismissal brought Zia in. With no intention of playing himself in, Zia clubbed some brutal boundaries in a rapid 19 before he skied one to backward point and was well caught by Hayden. Greenhalf, still defying a broken elbow, aimed some useful thrashes at the ball and RUASCC looked to be easing toward the winning target. Having needed 105 from the final twenty overs RUASCC were regularly hitting eight or nine an over with Ward, building on his good start, passing fifty with another boundary.

The end of Greenhalf’s cameo brought Finlay to the crease and he was involved in the game’s major point of controversy. A delivery from Chard seemed to clip the top of the bails, but there was some confusion as to whether or not the wicketkeeper had dislodged the bail with his glove instead. Umpire Tranter said “not out” and an argument ensued complete with finger-wagging and sweaty red faces. Play soon restarted although the incident was still being talked about after the game. Perhaps the most surprising thing for those watching from the pavilion was that Tranter was doing some umpiring.

Finlay had made 4 by the time he was properly bowled and Ken Stewart, batting hero of Britwell, brought his steady hand to proceedings. With three overs remaining, the match was finally settled by a beamer that missed everyone and disappeared for four. The result: a very welcome win by five wickets. Wardy, involved in every single ball of the match, ended unbeaten on 68.

So, was Wardy’s success due to the added focus of the wicketkeeping responsibilities? Or was it down to the net session before the game? Last time Wardy scored 68 was the first game of tour last year, and on that occasion he was on the outside of about four pints of lager. Whatever it is, let’s keep it going!

RUASCC Highlight: Zia’s first over. 63-0 became 63-2 in the first three balls.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Wardy.

Most Improved Tea Award: Peppard. Gone was the unidentifiable grey paste, here there were pizzas, cakes and fresh fruit. It was a very good effort indeed.

RUASCC Team: Ward (wkt), Eagle (Capt), Carpenter, Zia, Greenhalf, Finlay, Stewart, Main, Tranter, Koslicki, Withers

Season Review - Bowling

Cricket is a team game based almost entirely on the statistics of individuals. If I take six wickets in a match, for example, I’m helping the team. If I only take six wickets in the first half of the season, I’m a passenger. Unfortunately, so far in 2010 I have served RUASCC most effectively from the scorer’s table, although my enthusiastic fielding and willingness to look after the kit bag between matches will not, I am sure, go unnoticed when the awards are handed out.

Principally, however, I am a bowler. And as an opening bowler, blessed with fresh legs, a shiny new ball and two cold batsmen, my job is to take wickets and keep the run rate down - and if I can’t do both, for heaven’s sake pick one and do that. I’m not going to beat anyone for pace so in the past I have tried to bowl a consistent line and length with a suspicion of away swing and hope the batsmen do the decent thing and get out.

I don’t hold up my bowling to any great standard, I only ask of myself that I do as well as I can. Which is why this comparison with me (from 2009) is so frustrating:

• In 2009 I took 32 wickets at an average of 24.19; in 2010 I have taken 6 wickets at an average of 45.

• My strike rate in 2009 was a wicket every 38 balls; in 2010 I am taking a wicket on average every 73 balls (or 12.1 overs).

• Somewhat surprisingly, my economy has improved slightly from 3.79 runs per over in 2009 to 3.70 in 2010. And I’m still bowling a maiden every 5-6 overs.

There are many possible reasons why my bowling might be unsuccessful, but not so many that could cause such a difference in fortune between last season and this. I’ve had some thoughts, many of which conflict with each other:

1. I bowl too slowly, meaning batsmen have enough time to play whatever shot they like.
2. Sometimes I try to bowl too fast at the expense of line and length.
3. I can’t bowl six good balls, there’s always a four-ball full-toss hiding in there somewhere.
4. I’m too predictable - not enough variation in flight or pace.
5. I bowl too full, inviting the drive and too often erring towards the half-volley.
6. I’m not getting enough movement in the air or off the pitch, making it easier for batsmen to hit me.
7. I (still!) don’t have a settled run-up – I can’t decide between the short, sharp run-up and the longer, more relaxed approach.

I don’t know what I was doing differently last season, but my guess is it’s a combination of some or all of the points above. Suggestions welcome.

Season Review

Here is a self-indulgent look at the matches played so far, and specifically my contribution with the ball. Remember, there may be no I in “team” but there’s one right at the centre of “Keith”, so let’s crack on shall we.

Farley Hill: 10 overs - 0 maidens - 42 runs - 0 wickets
First game of the season, and even after a month of nets my radar was way off. Four an over with no maidens suggests it was a four-ball in each over that did the damage, although I was hit for one colossal six towards the end.

BBC Caversham: 8 – 5 – 8 – 1
On the face of it the figures look good, but you have to remember that different rules apply in this fixture. Tranter took 3-4, for example. My one important task, having been brought back on to bowl at the death, was to grab that final wicket and win the match. This I spectacularly failed to achieve.

Greys Green: 11 – 4 – 35 – 1 (had been 8 – 4 – 11 – 1)
In this match I seemed to spend a long time bowling line and length (i.e. slow) to a left-handed opener who played and missed three times an over but wouldn’t budge. And I nearly hit his guide dog once. After that, my last three overs went for 24 as Greys chased down 170 to win.

Tilehurst & Theale: 11 – 1 – 50 – 1 (had been 4 – 1 – 9 – 1)
Another decent start, with a maiden and a wicket in my first two overs, but T&T took off after that and chased down 219 to win. I came back on towards the end and tried to bowl fast, straight and full but went for some streaky runs through third man.

Woodcote: 4 – 0 – 27 – 0
Chasing 97 to win, Woodcote only needed 15 overs - four of them happened to be mine. I don’t remember doing too much wrong, just their opening bat (who made 52 very quickly) timing the pants off it.

Highmoor: 12 – 2 – 31 – 1
In this match I made a conscious effort to bowl quicker from my longer run up and this economical spell coincided with RUASCC’s first win of the season. I felt much more in control resulting in plenty of dot balls but, once again, not many wickets.

Britwell Salome: 12 – 1 – 37 – 2
Further signs of encouragement at Britwell where I picked up my first two-wicket haul of the year (I took 6-63 on the same ground in 2009). Again, it’s a decent economy rate but my season’s best figures of 2-37 would have been an average performance last year.

Peppard: 5 – 0 – 40 – 0
This really was a wretched performance. My first over was tight enough and only cost one run (a wide!) but then the full toss monster came back to stay. After the first four balls of my fifth over went for 16 runs my bewildered teammates stared at me as if I’d just defecated on the pitch. I could have saved everyone some time and effort before the match by simply walking around the rope with a bucket of cricket balls and slinging one into the hedge at twenty-yard intervals. Fortunately for RUASCC, Zia replaced me from the Pavilion End and took 5-20.

And that’s us up-to-date.

In my first ever match for RUASCC (in 2003) I took 6-25 against Tilehurst & Theale. I can’t picture myself achieving that sort of success these days, and maybe that’s part of the problem – lack of confidence and self-belief. When I’m bowling well I feel like every delivery will result in a dot ball or better. At the moment I'm trying to stop the flow of boundaries.

I’ll miss the next two matches as I’m away on holiday but I must return believing I can turn my season around. In the meantime I hope RUASCC get another two wins, and that my absence from the scorer’s table won’t be too great a loss.

J&J v GSK, Brentford - 8.7.10

The Worst Shot in the History of Cricket

On the 28th of June 2009 I played for RUASCC against Southampton University in one of the most dismal performances of all time. Having collectively dropped no fewer than ten catches we were then bowled out for 83 to lose the match by a massive 99 runs. On a personal level, it was my first game back after missing six weeks with a broken bone in my left hand; I dropped two of those catches and was bowled for a sixteen-ball duck.

I mention this game because, as I write this, it was 54 weeks ago and it remains the last time I was dismissed when batting for RUASCC. Towards the end of 2009 I scored my first half-century (61 not out) and in 2010 I’ve managed a handful of unbeaten 0s and 1s - even in my extra-curricular Twenty20 games I’ve scored 31 not out and made a couple of scores in the 15-20 region without getting out. If I was the sort of person who could ever start to feel invincible I would have started to feel invincible.

That was until the catastrophe of July 8th 2010.

Batting second in a Twenty20 game chasing a rather imposing 173, I was asked to go in unexpectedly high at number four. I watched batsmen two and three get out caught for a duck apiece and found myself on strike after 3.2 overs. The inauspicious match situation only makes what happened two balls later seem even more criminally incompetent.

My first ball was full and straight and I played my favourite shot, the forward defensive, patting it back exactly the direction it came from. No problem so far. The bowler was quick but not brutal; the field was set with the sort of respect you would normally afford a number four batsman. My batting partner, an Aussie, had already played one sumptuous extra-cover drive and was looking comfortable. I had a bit of time to enjoy myself, to get in and play without pressure. The bad ball was bound to come, and I would be ready for it.

The second ball was shorter and, I thought, a bit wider. In that instant my thinking changed from “play yourself in” to “must... smash... everything.” At the time I decided I had plenty of time and space to cut it, but by the time it reached me it was higher and much straighter than I had realised. My “shot” resembled a koala attempting to return a body serve from Andy Roddick and the ball popped up pathetically into the covers where two fielders played paper-scissors-stone (best of 3) to decide who would have the honour of catching me out. It was, without any doubt at all, the worst shot ever played in the history of cricket.

The delivery itself was ok: quick enough to rush me, possibly cutting back in off the pitch and definitely getting up higher than I expected. But I’d already bowled four overs on the same wicket so I knew it couldn’t be trusted, and even on a perfect wicket there is no excuse for playing a cross batted poke-jab at your second ball when it’s 10-2.

As I walked off, using my cricket bat to much better effect gently cracking the side of my head, I felt the sad and empty desperation of failure. Before that shot I could at least console myself that my batting has been OK this season (my bowling has been dire, more on which later) but now I’m heading to Peppard this afternoon an empty shell of once mediocre cricketer. Maybe I should start bringing my coloured pens and become a full-time scorer.

Britwell Salome (A) - 4.7.10

RUASCC made the trip to Britwell full of optimism on the back of a one-match winning streak but after a disappointing batting performance will have to be content with “three matches unbeaten”. Tranter announced, somewhat proudly I thought, to the home captain that he had lost nine consecutive tosses and his delight at subsequently losing a tenth was only increased when Britwell did the decent thing and had a bat first.

Koslicki and Withers started well and the home side were reduced to 17-2 in the first eight overs thanks to two sharp catches from Main and wicketkeeper Dip. But the third wicket added another 47, the vast majority being cut very hard to the cover boundary by Joyner Senior who did his best to keep Wardy busy at point. At first all he could do was stand and watch as the shots whistled by, but later he pulled off a couple of spectacular dives as the shots whistled by.

Withers (2-37) picked up his second wicket with a successful LBW appeal and Main struck soon after, removing Joyner (unfortunately it was only Joyner Junior) to leave Britwell 84-4. Main and his Magic Wicket-Taking Hat were further rewarded when a leading edge found Ken Stewart at mid-on and Lawrence was bowled by a beauty of an outswinger as he tried to play a forward defensive.

With the score at 108-6 Joyner had already passed fifty as he carried the Britwell innings. The next man in played four superb straight drives off Manoj but couldn’t handle the extra bounce from Bruce and was caught behind. An excellent spell from the bearded Kiwi produced figures of 4-64 from his 12.4 overs.

From 135-7 the home side then added their highest stand of the day to take them to 186-7 – and as yet another four from Joyner brought up both the fifty partnership and his own personal hundred the skipper called them in for tea.

Tea was superb with marinated chicken, sausages and several varieties of cake and when all 22 players had eaten to excess there were still twelve baskets of bread and fish left over. By this time Rafael Nadal had already finished off Berdych in straight sets at Wimbledon and the RUASCC top order were settling down for an afternoon nap.

Any visiting scouts from future opposition could have summed up our batting performance quite quickly: “vulnerable to the straight ball.” Of the eight wickets that fell during those two desperate hours seven were clean bowled while only Wardy, never one for following convention, offered a catch.

Eagle got off the mark first ball with a carefully-guided four through third man, but having reached 5 he was bowled behind his legs, the first of three RUASCC batsmen to suffer that fate. Carpenter (1) and Ward (5) had gone by the time Dip offered no shot to one he thought was missing leg stump (it didn’t) and suddenly the score was 40-4. It is entirely possible that Dip had one nervous eye on the hungry-looking red kites circling above.

Chan and his “little friend” got settled in and hit several fours on the way to making 21. For those who haven’t seen Chan’s new cricket bat, try imagining a cricket bat the shape of Chan. It has depth.

Dip’s dismissal brought Manoj to the crease and the prediction from the sidelines was “either a six over mid-wicket, or he’s getting bowled.” He was bowled attempting to hit the skin off the ball over mid-wicket. Chan was next to go and RUASCC were struggling at 50-6 as the umpires signalled there were twenty overs left to play.

So, it was perfect timing for a stand of 41 between Ken Stewart and Bruce Main that ate up ten overs and pushed the score along to something that potentially one day might hope to resemble respectability. Ken was obdurate, stubborn and Scottish as he exploited the attacking field setting, hitting the bad balls for four and blocking everything else. Main provided vital support but fell victim to his favourite long-arm sweep and was bowled for 11.

At 91-7 Koslicki joined Stewart and they added another 14, including three boundaries from the new batsman. When Koslicki was bowled for 12 there were still four overs to go so it was left to Stewart and Withers to see out the draw. Withers contributed the only way he knows (1 not out) while Stewart hit another three fours to finish unbeaten on 46, with only a sharp bit of fielding in the final over preventing him reaching a deserved fifty.

The celebrations at yet another draw carried on long into the night as the hospitable Britwell team prepared sausages and chips and generously dispensed the ale. The selection of spicy sauces (dash of “Butt Burner” anyone?) provided further amusement, and several of us were left wondering whether we could arrange our next RUASCC tour to Britwell Salome.

RUASCC Highlight: Bruce Main’s peach of an outswinger for his third wicket. Other contenders include the look of fear on Ken’s face as he realised a catch was coming his way and the moment Chan realised he was the only man fielding on the leg side.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Ken Stewart for being the grit in Britwell’s Vaseline.

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle, Carpenter, Dip (wkt), Chan, Manoj, Stewart, Main, Koslicki, Withers, Tranter (capt)