Southampton (A) – 27.6.10

From two attempts to play at Southampton this season we have so far managed not a single ball. After the cancellation last month I ended up in a bluebell wood instead; this time was far less pleasant. From the moment England’s footballers failed to win their World Cup group on Wednesday I knew the RUASCC match was at considerable risk.

It should have worked so perfectly: I would have happily watched England get knocked out on Saturday night and had Sunday free to play cricket. But they couldn’t even do that. In their desperation to make their World Cup last a single day longer they finished runners-up in Group C, earned a thrashing at the hands of Germany on Sunday AND caused my cricket match to be cancelled. Useless cretins.

I know many England fans have found the defeat hard to take especially because modern video technology confirms that the ball completely crossed the England goal line four times. This was often caused by the positioning of the defenders, for example, for the second Germany goal when Johnson, Terry and Upson were simply too close together:



Meanwhile the England cricket team sealed a series win against Australia exactly as I predicted last week (sort of). Despite the dangerous left-arm swing of Doug Bollinger (3-20) England wobbled home by one wicket to go 3-0 up with two to play. After shipping 43 runs in six overs I suspect Tim Bresnan won’t score a more satisfying 14 not out all year.

Highmoor (A) - 20.6.10

A weekend of firsts: my first trip to Lord’s on Saturday was followed by my first trip to Highmoor on Sunday. And, at the seventh attempt, this was to be RUASCC’s first win of the 2010 season.

Highmoor is not a difficult place to find: you simply take the B481 from Reading and once you enter the village you need to immediately drive straight past the cricket ground. Next you need to slow down a bit and think “ooh, it was back there”, then check your mirrors, spin round in the next side road, re-trace your journey in a slightly cautious fashion and finally say “aha!” as you spot the hole in the hedge that forms the entrance. Then simply choose which wing mirror you can bear to live without, shut your eyes and hope you make it through.

Once inside the fortress you find it’s a beautiful setting enclosed by trees and on Sunday the sun shone brightly as Captain Tranter lost his ninth consecutive toss. The home skipper obligingly opted to have a bat so for only the second time this season RUASCC fielded first.

The pitch offered variable bounce straight away and Withers made the breakthrough in the fourth over with a straight one that kept low. From the other end Koslicki found the outside edge several times in the early stages – two found the gap between slip and gully and two were dropped by Young Sam, the second into the waiting forearms of Withers at second slip. 41-2 soon became 53-3 as a very attacking batsman who looked like Javed Miandad was bowled by Koslicki, who finished with 2-42.

Carpenter replaced Withers (1-31) from the Car Park End and duplicated the opening bowler’s earlier LBW in his third over. By this time Highmoor had passed 100 and their opener was approaching a deserved 50 - that was until Jagesh saw the red mist and banged in a brutal lifter which tore a hole in the man’s head. Forced to retire hurt on 49, the young batsman later went to hospital and got six stitches above his eye so I won’t tell you which RUASCC player had said “well that’s as good as a wicket.”

Jagesh followed this with a more routine (and less bloody) wicket as Dip took a good catch on the cover boundary. This was just after the same fielder had dropped a difficult chance off Carpenter, who continued his impressive spell and was rewarded with a second wicket when a lofted drive picked out Withers on the long-off boundary. Highmoor jogged along without further loss to finish on 158-6 from 39 overs.

The RUASCC reply began with a boundary each for Ward and Eagle before the left-hander was bowled for 8. Next man Dip made just 5 before he played all round a straight one and was given LBW. It was 31-2 at the end of the 11th over.

Eagle clearly carried his confidence from Farley Hill into this game as he looked to attack the bad balls – full tosses were punished, long hops were cut (sometimes even in front of square) and RUASCC were halfway to the target with 20 overs gone. Our Dr Eagle is perhaps a batsman more commonly associated with caution, but his runs dominated a stand of 85 with Carpenter and he reached an excellent 50 with a cover drive for four.

Plenty of well-run singles punctuated with powerful boundaries saw Carpenter reach 33 before he was bowled with the score on 116. Then It was Loader’s turn to play second fiddle to the increasingly assured Eagle and their partnership of 32 took RUASCC to within a dozen runs of victory with four overs still remaining.

Sadly for us all, Eagle didn’t make it to the finish line as he was bowled for a career-best 86. “Should have been a not out”, he moaned as he trudged back to the pavilion in typical Eagle fashion. There was to be no RUASCC hiccup though, and Loader sealed things with two boundaries in the very next over - a very satisfying win by six wickets.

RUASCC Highlight: It has to be the batting again, Eagle’s in particular.

RUASCC Man of the Match: For the superb temperament, enthusiasm and technique he displayed during a long and difficult stint in the field, it’s got to be Very Young Ben Loader.

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle, Dip, Carpenter, Loader R, Griffiths (wkt), Loader B, Koslicki, Withers, Tranter (capt), Jagesh

Middlesex v The Australians, Lords – 19.6.10

On a cool, breezy and cloudy Saturday, a small but solid core of the RUASCC team made the trip to Lord’s for a 50-over tour match between Middlesex and The Australians. Eagle and Chan (who made such an important stand in last week’s game at Farley Hill) and Wardy (who also played at Farley Hill) were alongside me for what was my first visit to the Home of Cricket - and I was made to feel very welcome indeed. It’s a very hospitable sport is cricket.



The match began as Australia v The Australians as the Middlesex opening partnership of David Warner and Adam Gilchrist came to the crease. Not since the South African visit of 2009 has a touring side faced so many of their own countrymen at Lord's.

David Warner did what he often does: he hit a superb straight drive and was then caught behind all before the end of the first over of the day. Then Adam Gilchrist did what he often does: he hit two enormous sixes in a very attacking 38 before he was caught on the boundary going for another big one. Meanwhile, Owais Shah almost did what he often does: run himself out before reaching double figures. Fortunately for all concerned he survived and went on to score an impressive 92 from 123 balls. Despite this, the top three batsmen are all equally likely to play for England in the near future.

When the first Test-Match-less Middlesex batsman, Malan, was out for 2 the score was 86-3 and those of us who hadn’t seen the county bat before were concerned about the length of the tail. We needn’t have worried - we only got to see three more of them: Dexter (45) put on 88 with Shah and Newman (55 not out) put on a further 63 before Shah was caught just eight runs short of a deserved hundred. The home side then put on a further 36 runs to close on 273-5 from their 50 overs. Doug Bollinger was easily the pick of the Aussie bowlers with 3-24 from his eight overs, four from each end of the ground.

During lunch we chatted to a group of Australians sitting behind us: half-a-dozen Aussie Rules footballers and a girl who was “fresh off the boat” – at Lord’s just a week after arriving in England for the first time. Chan very kindly shared his lunch with them (three different types of olives, artichokes, a 2005 Monte Nobile from the foothills of southern Italy and some ham cured for 14 months in black pepper – we were at Lord’s after all) and I got a small Australian flag tattooed on my left forearm because when you’ve had a small glass of Wolf Blass you start to think that sort of thing is bloody funny. We learned that the Aussies were not huge fans of Shane Watson (“the worst cricketer in Australia” had just been taken for 44 runs in seven overs) and discussed his resemblance to the young Patrick Swayze in Ghost, something the Cricinfo website is clearly already aware of:



The sun came out a couple of time in the afternoon and for a few minutes it felt quite warm but generally it was a healthy intake of Bacardi and coke that kept the blood flowing. Everyone’s favourite Dirty Dancer Shane Watson opened the batting for Australia with wicketkeeper Tim Paine and they’d put on 26 when Paine was run out backing up too far at the non-striker’s end (a fluke caused by bowler Murtagh dropping a sharp return chance onto the stumps). With the score on 50 Watson was also run out, this time more conventionally by David Warner’s direct hit from point. Michael Clarke lasted only four balls before he was lbw to Murtagh and twice-Ashes-losing-Captain Ricky Ponting was dismissed in similar fashion for 17. The Australians were 64-4 with only no-hopers Cameron White and Michael Hussey left to protect the tail.

White and Hussey are, of course, two of the best in the world at this sort of thing and they simply added 176 in the next 33 overs without doing anything particularly spectacular. White scored eight fours and a six in his 106 while Hussey only found the boundary six times in his 72 not out. I missed the aforementioned partnership between Eagle and Chan last week but I understand it was absolutely nothing like this.

White’s dismissal (again to Murtagh, 3-43) with the score on 240 didn’t change much, in fact, it possibly even sped things up as Steve Smith hit 28 from 17 balls to see the Aussies home with two overs and five wickets to spare.

Meanwhile, up in Edinburgh, England were preparing for the upcoming One Day Series with a comfortable victory of their own against Scotland, Strauss and Kieswetter each scoring a half-century.

So what does this tell us? Well, I suggest that it may (or may not) be a close series. I think Strauss, Kieswetter and Morgan will do well for England unless Bollinger gets them out and I think Cameron White is the biggest danger for the Aussies, unless we can get him out. This all depends on the weather of course. If Jimmy Anderson is swinging the ball he can get Ponting lbw before he starts moving his feet and if Shahzad can get the reverse swing working with the old ball we might be able to restrict the late flow of runs by taking wickets at key moments. Having said that, we could still lose horribly. And with that I think I’ve covered all the bases with appropriately vague and non-committal predictions.

The important thing was that we all enjoyed the day and nobody vomited anywhere on the way home.

Farley Hill (A) - 13.6.10

Owing to my absence from the starting XI, this week’s match report appears courtesy of opening batsman, fixtures secretary, scientist, nobleman and horse-whisperer Dr Andrew Eagle.

Picture a man at a roulette wheel who has placed four bets on red and they’ve all come up black; he has one chip left for his fifth turn. His heart tells him to stay on red, his bladder tells him to try black for a change, and his mind tells him he should have listened harder in those Maths classes. Now picture Eagle and Ward being told to get the pads on and you know that Trant has defied the odds (32 to 1) and lost the bloody toss again!

At 2.05 pm on a sun-warmed, pine-fringed oval RUASCC took to the crease. At 2.30 pm four men (Ward, Dersh, Dip & Carpenter) were already back under the veranda pondering the attractions of tea and listening to Wardie’s tales of last night’s hot tub action (and not a delicates wash in sight).

The score stood at 34 for 4 and Eagle had already retreated to his emergency position of forward defensive and the odd nurdle behind (enough to pass his
7000 runs for the club). At the other end arch nemesis “Pinkie” Shaw (no I don’t know either) was bowling his nagging line and length, and even Victor had a spring (and a sizeable Cuban heel) in his step.

Meanwhile, Chan had a new bat and was damned if he was going to knock it in carefully. Named a “B52” and looking as if it had last been used by the GWR, the bat was soon in action as Chan pulled and swung at anything remotely playable. Eagle was energised by this and started to play more positively and some shots even took a frontal trajectory, as the pair scampered singles and twos. The possibility of a RUASCC embarrassment passed; the sun shone; the drinks came and came again as Chan scattered the field with glorious shots, mostly to the leg side, whilst Eagle late-cut and nurdled away.

As the partnership hit 125, Chan, hitherto not a man in a hurry between the stumps, called manically for a quick single, Eagle hesitated too long and either way a wicket would have fallen; sadly Chan out for a brilliant 80. Sam took up the gauntlet that Chan had stuffed into the face of Farley Hill CC and continued to thrash boundaries from the now tiring bowling. Meanwhile, Eagle had at last got his fifty, and as if to celebrate danced down the wicket to Pinkie and hit a high and long six into the woods; having only taken two hours to work out that was the way to play him! Minutes later he was caught for 60, and after a few more from Sam, Trant declared on 211 for 7.

In reply, the bearded openers of FH set off at a steady pace, Streak especially impressive in his searing cuts and leg glances; there were a lot of leg glances. Jagesh’s first spell did not last long and at the other end Zia was doing his party trick of bowling from a long run up and figures of 9 runs off 8 overs suggest he should pull that particular rabbit from the hat more often. Bruce then came on and looked on good form, and this was underlined by the first wicket.

Jagesh had replaced Zia at the other end and Withers (back from playing football – yes, incredible I know) replaced Zia on the field. Another wicket came and the opposition needed 119 from the last 20 overs. Any ideas of a win were swept aside when Jagesh took two in two balls (and ended with 4 for 50), and from then on the weaker than usual Farley batting side put up the closed sign. They showed little interest of re-opening when Tranter offered the wares and delicacies (left-overs, off-cuts, seconds, shop soils) of Carpenter, Dersh, Wardie and Chan. Even Trant, finding a line and length that had been a stranger at Greys Green, could not shift the wily old pair of batsmen at the end. So a draw, some fifty runs short with five wickets standing, was the outcome.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Chan – one of his greatest knocks, and all too welcome.

Farley Hill Man of the Match: Pinkie Shaw with figures of 21-6-80-3.

RUASCC Highlight: numerous high class shots from Chan; Eagle’s rare and towering six?

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle, Carpenter, Dersh, Dip, Chan, Griffiths (wkt), Zia, Main, Tranter (capt), Jagesh

Wargrave (A) – 6.6.10

After a few days of very warm, sunny weather the forecast for Sunday was less favourable and there were fears that thundery showers would arrive in Berkshire mid-afternoon and interrupt the match.

As it turned out the match never started as we discovered just before 12pm that Wargrave had cancelled the fixture. It wasn’t immediately obvious why, although a glance at their online fixture list does provide a possible explanation:



That’s right. We’re not there.