Tuesday 29 April 2014

Mortimer West End (A) – 27.4.14


Match called off due to rain

Another wet April weekend means RUASCC are O for 2 so far this season, though at least we can consider ourselves significantly more fortunate than Wirral CC whose Cheshire League game survived the weather on Saturday.

Chasing a modest 109 to win, Wirral’s first 10 batsmen were all dismissed without scoring (six were clean bowled).  Their only run off the bat was scored by their number 11 and even he was outscored by the two leg byes.  Two balls into the tenth over the innings was complete: three all out, and defeat by 105 runs.

I’m not sure what it was about this hapless and embarrassing batting collapse that got me thinking about RUASCC.  I remember a few Sunday afternoons when, facing nothing better than village bowling, the stumps suddenly feel six feet wide, the bat’s like a toothpick, the ball seems to nip both ways at 95mph and there are 42 fielders close in for the catch.  Where the opposition had been regularly finding the boundary, we can’t get the ball off the square.

It was mostly a very different story last season, of course - last season we were an unstoppable run-chasing machine.  In one of our most memorable wins from 2013, at Frieth, we started out having a bit of a Wirral - six wickets down in 12 overs – but spectacularly turned it round when a change of bowling allowed Main and Zia to go on the attack.  We finished with over 200 and won by 48 runs.

The Wirral story serves to remind me once again how glad I am to be a bowler.  An unlucky (or inept) batsman gets one chance and that’s it: your afternoon is over.  A bowler can serve up shit on toast for half an hour and still end up with half-decent figures.  Speaking as a number 11, the fragility of batting troubles me – there’s too much that can go wrong with such disastrous effect.  That’s where my crippling defensiveness comes from: fear of failure.  This is why I have the utmost respect for batsmen who embrace the loneliness, go for their shots and take control of the game.

I have no doubt that, come Saturday, one of those Wirral batsmen will stand tall, spank their first ball to the boundary and in that single stroke surpass the team’s total from last weekend.  Because the thing you have to remember about cricket is that you will fail, and sometimes you’ll fail huge, but there’ll always be another game.

That’s if it stops pissing it down.

Tuesday 22 April 2014

Farley Hill (A) – 20.4.14


Match called off due to rain

Proper rain too, none of your drizzly shit.  It was dark by 11am.

One can only speculate as to how this match would have turned out had it not been for the entirely predictable downpour that followed two weeks of glorious sunshine and ruined the first day of the cricket season, but since Withers failed to attend any of the pre-season net sessions at least the Farley Hill batsmen were spared the looping head-high full tosses that would surely have been flung from his cold rusty shoulder.  Who knows what we may have missed?  An Eagle ton?  A Ken Stewart hatrick?  Dip getting caught at mid-on?  For now we must take solace in the fact that we have another Farley Hill fixture scheduled for June and move on to Mortimer West End on Sunday.

I must confess I wasn’t entirely ready for the season to start anyway; I tried to stop thinking about cricket after a very strange winter.  Now, in the aftermath, England are attempting to solve the problems that caused their crushing Ashes defeat by a) sacking their top run-scorer, and b) re-hiring the coach with the lowest win percentage of any England coach this century.  This will definitely work.

We might never know the full details of why Pietersen has been discarded, but by all accounts it seems to be based on the fact that he’s an arsehole.  This was overlooked, of course, when he scored loads of runs - maybe the run scoring made him less of an arsehole to be around, we just don’t know.  Evidently what happened in Australia was that he dipped below some critical threshold of run:arsehole ratio and the selectors were forced to act.

It’s all rather farcical and confusing but it also leaves me fearful for the future of RUASCC.  If we were suddenly forced to drop all the arseholes who don’t score enough runs we’d be woefully short of players – basically just Zia running around in a field.

Assuming we don’t start applying this rigorous selection policy I’ll be back with another report after the weekend.