Tilehurst & Theale (A) – 26.5.13

RUASCC 215-8 (44 overs)

J. Singh 45, Zia 37

Tilehurst & Theale 162-9 (41 overs)

Zia 5-21, Waqar 2-22

Match drawn

After being bowled out for just 73 the day before, a RUASCC team with six changes travelled to Theale for the second game of a warm and sunny weekend.  For the opposition view, Mr Cooper has once again produced the goods in his match report, although I understand that Operation Yewtree are on the case after it was discovered that the site contains images of some very young barenaked ladies.

Meanwhile, in a bid to appeal to the modern youth, I’ve brought my own match report a bit more up-to-date and translated it into gangsta rap, thanks to the fabulous gizoogle translator.  Enjoy.

**************

With Eagle absent ten minutes before tha scheduled start time dat shiznit was left ta Zia ta do tha toss, win it, chizzle ta bat n' take over as captain fo' tha day. It make me wanna hollar playa!  Eagle n' Fawaz opened tha battin n' put on 66 before they both fell tha fuck up in quick succession. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.  Da two freshly smoked up men, Jas n' Zia, carried on tha phat work n' added 79 runs but they too was dissed n' dismissed up in tha same over n' shit.  Jas was caught just five runs short of a gangbangin' fifty n' Zia was caught off a high full toss dat should have gone ta tha mid-wicket boundary but somehow ended up at mid-off.

Da RUASCC innings could have faltered at dis point but Baker held firm fo' 28 not up while tha tailendaz contributed tha odd boundary before gettin out.  Da fucked up Jagesh rocked up ta rupture suttin' as he attempted a second run n' was run up by a cold-ass lil considerable distance.  Afterwardz his schmoooove ass could barely make it ta tha boundary before collapsin up in a heap.

Despite tha fall of wickets Baker n' Co managed ta add 40 runs up in tha last five overs ta finish on a straight-up respectable 215-8.

Da freshly smoked up bizzle was given ta Fawaz n' off-spinner Nadeem n' dat shiznit was tha slow bowla whoz ass took tha straight-up original gangsta wicket when Mehta was adjudged LBW despite clearly believin he’d gots a gangbangin' fair bit of bat on dat shit.  In tha tenth over Nadeem took tha second wicket ta leave tha home side 25-2 but tha innings was rebuilt by Blake n' Why, whoz ass saw off a thugged-out dozen bowlin chizzlez ta add 65 before tha ever-reliable Waqar came on ta remove dem both.

At 93-4 T&T needed 123 ta win wit 14 overs remainin n' fo' a while dis looked on tha cardz as they added another 46 fo' tha fifth wicket.  Then tha door was firmly shut by Zia whoz ass removed both Holda n' White up in one over, props ta a sharp slip catch by Jagesh n' a phat low take by Nadeem.

With tha run-rate reduced ta almost not a god damn thang Zia dissed n' dismissed Cooper n' Brown ta make RUASCC phat favourites fo' tha win yo, but tha lower order blocked just long enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce.  Zia’s five-wicket haul was sealed by another pimped out catch by Jagesh, whoz ass despite only havin use of one leg managed ta dive ta his fuckin left at slip n' snag it one-handed a inch from tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.  But tha final wicket wouldn’t come n' Tilehurst & Theale finished on 162-9.  Another hugely enjoyable, high-scorin game n' two mo' phat match reports, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

RUASCC Highlight:  Jagesh’s second slip catch, quite remarkable.

RUASCC Man of the Match:  Zia.

RUASCC G-Unit:  Eagle, Fawaz, J. Singh, Zia (capt), Baker (wkt), Nadeem, Waqar, Taimour, Jagesh, Ashman, Withers