Tilehurst & Theale (A) – 27.5.12

Tilehurst & Theale 216-6
Zia 2-35, Waqar 2-43

RUASCC 211 all out
Dip 58, Eagle 32

RUASCC lost by 5 runs

Click here for the wonderful Tilehurst & Theale match report.  It’s The Boss.

After last year’s award winning* (*not really award winning) musical-based match reports it seems a new tradition has begun: any sports journalist wishing to describe the action in a RUASCC v Tilehurst & Theale match must be hamstrung by trying to shoehorn song titles into the write-up. This inevitably leads to tortured prose, exaggeration, outright lies and dreadful puns, but fortunately for the Keiwit Blog no one has yet been able to notice the difference. Anyway, to celebrate the return of the nerdy-piano-rock combo to the UK later this year, I have included in this report all 17 songs from the album Ben Folds Live. If you haven’t, you really should.

Part 1

On another very warm afternoon Eagle won the toss, took a long look at his batting line-up and decided to field first; Withers opened with a maiden and the home side were one down in the sixth over when Zia bowled White for 5. In the face of this formidable* (*not really formidable) bowling attack left-hander Cooke was struggling to get the drive working with the result that all his scoring shots were flying over the army of slip fielders. When a man was placed in a catching position at short third man Cooke tried to play a shot to the leg side instead, but the strain of doing so appeared to dislocate the young man’s shoulder and he was forced to retire hurt.

The score passed 50 before Withers eventually picked up a wicket, Zia taking the catch at mid-on, and when Jagesh bowled Puri in his third over Tilehurst were 75-3. This brought Osborn to the crease and it wasn’t long before we figured out his batting philosophy: hit it very hard and don’t run too much – the only problem was we couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Jagesh (1-32) was replaced by Dr Ashman and Osborn clearly decided he was going to rock this bitch* (*not really a bitch) as more punishing drives disappeared over the hedge and into the silver street beyond. Over the next very long hour Osborn and Blake added 100 runs in about 17 overs before Waqar removed them both. Waqar, this season’s leading wicket-taker, bowled 12 overs of consistent emaline and length in another highly impressive spell. After that there was just enough time for Zia to take his second wicket (a Dip stumping) as T&T finished on 216-6.

At this point the match sponsors would like to wish a very happy 25th wedding anniversary to Jane and Fred Jones.

Part 2

Eagle followed up his fifty at Greys with more runs, setting off at a decent pace as he comfortably outscored Ward in their opening partnership of 51. He did survive one chance when he cut straight to the man at gully (lending more weight to Wardy’s theory that Eagle is the luckiest batsman he’s ever seen) but neither looked in much trouble before Ward (18) dozed off in the middle of a pull shot and ended up chipping the ball straight to square leg. Then Eagle suffered a similar spell of narcolepsy while attempting a defensive stroke and was given LBW on the back leg for 32.

Carpenter once again looked in good touch before playing on for 18 and Zia hit two boundaries but was then caught in the covers for 8. Shortly afterwards Weeks was bowled for 9 but by now Dip was starting to play the sort of innings we know he’s capable of because he does it precisely once a year. From 100-5 he was supported by Waqar (14) and Jagesh (7) and the diminutive Dip was running the show, using his feet well like a tiny dancer and belting the ball to all parts of the boundary. He passed fifty with his eighth four but then on 58 he was bowled with RUASCC just 19 runs short of the target. He was one angry dwarf, and 200 solemn faces looked on from the boundary, aware that the last of the recognised batsmen was gone.

Tranter and Ashman pushed the score past 200 and RUASCC willed the partnership to carry on for just a couple more overs, especially Withers, bricking it at the prospect of having to bat. But with six runs still needed Tranter (14) found the man at extra cover when looking to hit over the top. I went to join Dr Ashman for the last polka, still intent on winning the game, but for one full over I did the best imitation of myself trying to bat out for a draw. With the field in tight and neither batsman able to get it off the square, eventually Ashman had to go for it but he belted the ball straight back to bowler Osborn who followed up his 77 runs with figures of 3-9 and the winning catch.

So after a very enjoyable weekend of cricket we played two full games in glorious sunshine, posted two scores of 200+ and didn’t win either of them. But we got more runs than Greys, and against Tilehurst we were only 5 runs away so that’s basically the same as two wins* (*not the same).

RUASCC Highlight: Ward took a very good catch running forward from mid-on, and let’s face it any RUASCC catch is worth celebrating.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Has to be shared between Waqar’s bowling and Dip’s batting.

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle (capt), Carpenter, Zia, Dip (wkt), Weeks, Waqar, Jagesh, Tranter, Ashman, Withers, Zak and Sara