With no wins from five matches it could perhaps be argued that we simply have a poor away record, although this provides little comfort as we head into a sequence of nine consecutive away games before August. So, in order to prevent a slide into negativity, this report will be interspersed with uplifting song lyrics.
Once again Tranter proved to be a useless tosser and RUASCC were asked to bat first in a 35-over match. Note: this was supposed to be 35 overs per side, not in total. With Eagle and Dip opening the batting we set off like a train (slow, juddery, occasionally stopping for no reason) and had reached 11 before Dip ducked to avoid a full toss that hit off-stump halfway up.
A jumpy rhythm makes you feel so fine
It'll shake all the trouble from your worried mind
Get rhythm when you get the blues
(Get Rhythm, Johnny Cash)
Baker came in on the back of two decent scores last weekend, but when he started to attack he found the only man on the point boundary and was caught for 7. The score was 32 with only 17 coming off the bat as Woodcote’s bowlers employed the wide-wide-wide-straight technique – and it worked a charm as Eagle was trapped LBW by the only ball in the over he could have reached.
Dersh hit two boundaries before he was bowled by a beauty, and he was soon followed by Loader and Greenhalf (both caught) to make it 66-6.
All of your demons will wither away
Ecstasy comes and they cannot stay
(Demons, Fatboy Slim featuring Macy Gray)
Zia, unusually for him, began in controlled fashion, diligently leaving a wide ball from the leg-spinner. Unfortunately for Zia, he had forgotten he had taken guard a foot outside his crease and was promptly stumped. This wicket brought together Stewart and Tranter with a combined age of almost 130 years, and they recorded the largest stand of the innings (23). Tranter dusted off the bat and brought out the lofted drives, hitting two fours just as a procession of old steam engines chugged past the edge of the pitch.
And he galloped into Market Street, his badge upon his chest,
His name was Ernie, and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.
(Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West), Benny Hill)
The fun came to an end as Trant tried to cut a ball on middle stump and was bowled for 16. Then Stewart was caught helping the ball round the corner and it was left to Withers and Ashman to see out the last ten overs and add some much-needed runs to the total. After a quick chat about how this could be best achieved, Ashman swung at a straight one and was plumb LBW for 0. RUASCC had train-wrecked to 96 all out, with only Extras able to hold their head high, contributing 30.
The reply was a mere formality as RUASCC chopped and changed their bowlers but couldn’t stem the flow of runs – Strauss raced to 23 inside three overs and Cook dispatched a full-toss to surpass his first innings total. Despite Cook being given LBW to one that looked a bit high, Strauss and Trott continued the assault and victory was secured with eight wickets and more than a session to spare.
No, hang on. I’ve got mixed up there, sorry. The Woodcote opener raced to 22 in three overs and despite Zia bowling him when he had reached 52, victory was secured before 5.30pm with nine wickets and nearly 20 overs to spare. The winning runs came courtesy of a six into the allotments just so we could all walk off the pitch feeling really special.
Why there is no perfect place, yes I know this is true
I'm just learning how to smile, that's not easy to do
I know there will come a day
When we can leave and just go running away
(Learning How to Smile, Everclear)
We all have our off-days. For RUASCC it’s usually a Sunday.
On my way home, stuck in traffic, I found myself staring absent-mindedly at one of those “The Car in front is a Toyota” stickers when I suddenly realised it was on a Vauxhall Zafira. I thought maybe they meant the car in front of them was a Toyota, so I leaned over to get a glimpse but it looked to me like a Honda Civic. I looked to my right but there was only a Ford Focus in front of a Renault Megane. I couldn’t see a Toyota in front of anything! It was such a frustrating day.
RUASCC Highlight: Zia’s lone celebration when Baker caught a bump ball.
RUASCC Man of the Match: Extras.
RUASCC Team: Eagle, Dip (wkt), Baker, Loader, Dersh, Greenhalf, Zia, Stewart, Tranter (capt), Ashman, Withers
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