Greys Green (A) – 26.5.12

RUASCC 219-6
Zia 103 not out, Eagle 51

Greys Green 188-7
Withers 4-57, Waqar 3-42

Match drawn

On a cloudless Saturday afternoon with the temperature in the mid-twenties there aren’t many places I’d rather be than Greys Green Cricket Club – great group of players, the games are always competitive and the ground isn’t too shabby either:

With several of our men running late due to last minute team changes (Waqar had to be drafted in at 1pm) we were asked to bat first when Eagle lost the toss again - a great result for this scorer/number 11 who rather fancied the idea of relaxing in the sun for a couple of hours while occasionally writing down some numbers.

RUASCC suffered a bit of a West-Indies-at-Trent-Bridge-2012 start to the innings, faltering to 66-4 on a decent batting track as opening bowler Ahmed removed Ward (15), Carpenter (5) and Malde (7) in his first eight overs. Dip went on the attack and hit four boundaries before he got carried away and played an injudicious drive off Skilleter to be caught at mid-off for 17. Fear not, though, because Captain “Boycs” Eagle was still there on 20 not out after 23 overs.

Fortunately the middle order staged a West-Indies-at-Trent-Bridge-2012 recovery. The first over after Zia’s arrival produced 15 runs and, with the bowlers becoming slightly less assured of their line and length, anything overpitched was dispatched with sickening ease. Eagle focused mainly on the scoring areas through gully and backward square leg as the pair added fifty in six overs to put the innings back on track.

There was a worrying moment when Eagle crumpled to the ground after a collision with Skilliter at the non-striker’s end. A crowd gathered round and umpire Chan, fearing a neck injury, asked if Eagle was able to move his feet. “Since when has Eagle ever been able to move his feet?” Dr Ashman didn’t say until a bit later.

Anyway, Eagle was soon upright and he survived a huge shout for caught behind by cleverly edging behind without the umpires noticing. And you know Eagle: he WILL walk if he thinks he’s edged it and he thinks it was caught and he thinks Sagittarius is passing through Venus on a Thursday morning and you can see the International Space Station from the Tower of Pisa.

Both batsmen passed fifty in consecutive balls of the 35th over but Eagle did eventually give himself out when he scooped Pat Sims’ first ball straight to cover. Thanks to that 90-run partnership the score was now a more respectable 156-5.

Greenhalf became Ahmed’s fourth victim, bowled for 2, but an exciting fifty stand between brothers Zia and Waqar took the score past 200. The declaration came as Zia swept the four that took him to his century - another superb knock that included three sixes and fourteen fours in just a little under 19 overs.

And the all-rounder didn’t get much of a rest because as soon as the scones had been devoured he was back out in the hot sun opening the bowling. This proved to be a struggle for everyone: the bowlers couldn’t make the breakthrough and the batsmen ambled along at three an over to eventually reach 51-0.

Left-hander Howse was called back after a stumping misunderstanding and also survived an edge behind off Withers that no one appealed, but his luck finally ran out when he tried to defend a Withers yorker that spun back onto his stumps. Waqar continued his fine wicket-taking form by bowling Holroyd just after the drinks break, at which point Greys still needed 155 in 18 overs.

They really set about it too, taking 80 from the next ten overs before Waqar switched ends and dismissed Cusden for 27. Still, with seven wickets in hand a Greys win looked a distinct possibility until Captain Eagle did the only thing you can do when looking for containment and/or wickets – he threw the ball back to Withers.

(I’m sorry, did you say Withers? Don’t you mean Zia? Withers, really? No, nothing it’s just… I’m sure you know what you’re doing.)

Well, after a couple of tight overs the required rate reached 12-per-over and the batsmen started playing across the line to straight deliveries. First Withers bowled opener Knight for a fine 79, then Waqar took the important wicket of Skilleter.

The match was saved and Withers began the final over needing to take just five wickets in six balls to win it! Shafqat was clean bowled with the first delivery but there was to be no miracle ending – only one more fell before stumps. That left Greys seven wickets down (all clean bowled) and 31 runs behind.

RUASCC Highlight: Playing cricket on such a perfect day, not losing and then having beer.

RUASCC Man of the Match: There could be a few candidates this week but for the unbeaten century followed by ten overs with economy of 2.7 – it’s Zia.

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle (capt), Carpenter, Malde, Dip (wkt), Zia, Greenhalf, Waqar, Tranter, Ashman, Withers

Shedfield (A) – 20.5.12

RUASCC 153 all out
Eagle 34, Abbas 25

Shedfield 83 all out
Waqar 3-5, Zia 3-29

RUASCC won by 70 runs

After three weeks of rain and cancellations the weather finally improved just enough for us to complete our first game of the season, a new fixture down in Shedfield (near Marwell Zoo, for reference). On inspection of the square it became apparent we would be playing on the astroturf strip, and RUASCC were asked to make first use of it when Eagle lost the toss.

Despite some comedy calling early on (Carpenter should have been run out first ball) runs came steadily in the first few overs as Eagle used the full width of his bat to “steer” the ball through the slip and gully region. Wides also made a significant contribution before Carpenter eventually gloved behind to bring the 49-run opening partnership to an end; two overs later Eagle, having hit six boundaries, was bowled by a quicker one for a confident 34.

But RUASCC soon recovered from this encouraging start and began to collapse in style. 76-2 became 107-7 as Dip (LBW for 1), Zia (run out by the wicketkeeper for 8) and debutant Turley (caught behind for 1) all departed quickly. Chan Malde (14) showed he’s been watching too much IPL when his attempted reverse-sweep spooned high in the air and practically landed on gully. Then Waqar (2) middled a pull straight to the man at mid-on and the innings looked all but over.

What happened next was quite disgraceful: Waseem Abbas, another young man playing his first game for the club, showed a complete lack of regard for self-destruction protocol and walloped a six over mid-on for his first RUASCC runs. Two fours and another six followed in a 36-run stand with Tranter, who contributed four singles, and we suddenly had a target to bowl at. Abbas was caught for 25 and Tranter bowled for seven leaving last pair Withers and Pensioner Ken Stewart at the crease.

It was all over too quickly, alas, as Withers tipped a ball into the leg side and, apparently forgetting who his partner was, confidently and decisively called for a quick single. Halfway down the track, realising he was the only one moving, he uttered an oath in the general direction of the non-striker and was hopelessly and embarrassingly run out for 0. 153 all out.

After tea (delivered from the pub across the road) the home side’s response stuttered as Withers, enjoying the extra bounce provided by the plastic pitch, took a wicket in his first over and Zia bowled the other opener to make it 16-2. A useful partnership of 31 followed but Zia regained control and removed both batsmen in the space of three overs, the latter thanks to a catch by Eagle protecting the long-on boundary after several shots aimed in that direction.

With 20 overs remaining Shedfield (one man short) needed 100 to win with five wickets in hand but were subsequently unable to put together another meaningful partnership. Waseem replaced Withers and bowled a useful spell down the hill but it was Waqar at the other end who bamboozled the middle order to finish with incredible figures of 3-5 from three overs (one bowled, one LBW, one caught & bowled).

Eager to finish off the match Eagle turned to the senior citizens. Ken Stewart (1-1) needed only one over to remove the last recognised batsman despite seeing two chances dropped (one by a very apologetic Waqar, one by entirely unapologetic run out victim Withers) and Tranter (1-0) needed only two balls to seal the win.

And thus RUASCC’s unbeaten start to the season extends until at least May 25th.

RUASCC Highlight: Waseem Abbas scoring his first runs for RUASCC with an enormous six over mid-on.

RUASCC Man of the Match: For top-scoring with 34 and holding on to a couple of important catches, it’s Dr Eagle.

RUASCC Team: Eagle (capt), Carpenter, Malde, Dip (wkt), Zia, Turley, Abbas, Waqar, Tranter, Stewart, Withers

Farley Hill (A) – 22.4.12

Farley Hill 157-8
Stewart 4-13, Waqar 2-29, Tranter 2-30

Match abandoned due to rain

In the first game of the 2012 season RUASCC’s senior bowlers grabbed a hatful of wickets before play was eventually abandoned at tea thanks to the wettest drought on record. No one who’d seen a weather forecast expected to complete this game but we started on time and in bright sunshine; Eagle won the toss in his first game as Club Captain and put the home side into bat.

Player of the Season Zia opened the bowling and for the first few overs looked exactly like a man who hadn’t managed to attend any of the net sessions, while Withers took the new ball at the other end seemingly well-rehearsed and already at his disappointing best. After 17 overs the Farley Hill openers had notched a fifty partnership and intermittent heavy showers made fielding conditions both difficult and unpleasant.

In an attempt to force the breakthrough skipper Eagle experimented with the field settings: at one point Tranter was asked to go “slippish” and later in the innings Withers spent a good amount of time in a position between long-on and long-off in a place that shall be referred to henceforth simply as “long”. But despite these innovations several chances went begging as balls were allowed to land in the spaces between fielders with no one really making an effort to get there. We are still RUASCC after all.

What Eagle eventually realised is that a RUASCC wicket is a nailed-on certainty once you take Withers off, and sure enough Waqar’s second delivery was hoiked straight to the captain who took the catch. By the time Zia had rediscovered the art of bowling maidens without taking wickets, he was replaced by Tranter who perhaps has the opposite problem. Eagle called it in Trant’s first over: “ball number four will be a wicket”, and it was, as the batsman went walkabout and Dip completed the stumping.

Opening batsman Ali had scored the bulk of the runs and he was on 64 when Waqar bowled him – an important wicket that exposed the less assured middle order to the twin threat of Tranter and Ken Stewart, playing in his first game since the bungee jumping accident that left him four feet tall and Scottish. Tranter went from the ridiculous (one delivery went backwards) to the sublime (another plumb LBW to add to his collection) to finish with 2-30 and Farley Hill could find no answer to Ken’s left arm ankle-biters. Starved of pace and predictable bounce, the batsmen charged down the wicket and swung at thin air giving Dip two stumpings and Stewart final figures of 4-13, his best since July 1921.

With the fall of the eighth wicket the home side declared, but before the first egg sandwich had been consumed the heavens opened and the downpour proved terminal for the already stodgy pitch. Despite a subsequent spell of bright sunshine there was no chance of further play and we all had to make do with a drink in the bar.

RUASCC Highlight: Chan’s incredible diving stop at square leg.

RUASCC Man of the Match: It hurts, it really hurts, but it has to be Pensioner Ken.

RUASCC Team: Eagle (capt), Dersh, Carpenter, Malde, Gehlot, Dip (wkt), Zia, Waqar, Withers, Tranter, Stewart

Worcestershire v Surrey (New Road) – 16, 17 & 19 August 1991

The Day I met Basil D’Oliveira


The Morning Session

On Monday 19th of August 1991, Surrey began the third and final day of this County Championship match on 132-2 in their second innings – still 84 runs behind having conceded a huge first innings deficit.

A batting line-up featuring Darren Bicknell, Alec Stewart and Graham Thorpe had been bowled out for just 185 on the first day thanks largely to a five wicket haul from a man named Ian Botham. In reply Worcester declared on 401-9 after big scores from Graeme Hick (145), Tim Curtis (98) and that man Botham again (61).

There was nothing unusual about the fact that the Worcestershire team of the early 90s were dominating a match, but there was something different about that Monday in August because in the crowd, a hundred miles from home and attending his first ever live County Cricket match, was a twelve-year-old Keiwit. I was already a huge Worcestershire fan by this time and Keiwit Senior had been invited to watch the day’s play (corporate hospitality). Since it was the school holidays I begged to be allowed to tag along.

So while my dad went off to meet his work people in another part of the ground I took my seat on the long-on boundary behind Graham Dilley’s famous angled run up. Dilley, a hero of mine since I first watched the highlights video of Botham’s Ashes, took the first wicket of the day as Worcestershire set about trying to wrap up the Surrey innings.

It was a quiet morning session; the Surrey batsmen dug in and challenged the bowlers to break them down. I went for a wander to explore the ground and ate a half-melted Kitkat from my Watford FC lunchbox but otherwise I hardly took my eyes off the cricket. It was going to be a very good day.

At the lunch interval all the kids, including me, poured onto the outfield and impromptu cricket games started up at every point on the boundary. I remember taking a routine catch to end the innings of a small girl but otherwise all aspects of my performance have been lost in the passing of time.

The Afternoon Session

At some point during the afternoon, I’m not exactly sure when, my dad made his way over to see me. He had in his hand a small, cream-coloured card which he told me to fasten onto my clothing. The card had gold lettering and I know exactly what it said because it’s on the table next to me:

WORCESTERSHIRE

C. C. C.

19 GUEST 91

MARQUEE

DATE. 19 AUG 1991

I gathered my belongings and followed him to the far side of the ground, past the pavilion and into the Members Enclosure. At the entrance to the marquee a security man checked my little card and once we were allowed in my dad led me to a table where a group of men were sitting. One of the men was introduced to me as Basil D’Oliveira.

Now, at that time I knew that England didn’t play cricket against South Africa and I knew it was something to do with skin colour. But I didn’t know the background to it and I had no idea of the extent to which it involved the smiling gentleman sitting in front of me. (If you don’t already know about the cancelled tour of 1968, the selection controversy involving Tom Cartwright and the anti-apartheid demonstrations then there are many better places to read about them than here.)

In fact, at that exact moment if you’d asked me what I knew about Basil D’Oliveira I would most likely have replied that he was the father of Worcestershire batsman Damian D’Oliveira.

Anyway, in brief: unable to play first class cricket in his native South Africa Basil D’Oliveira came over to England with the help of journalist John Arlott in 1960 and quickly made a success of it. He went on to play 41 Tests for England (the same number as Graham Dilley) and scored five centuries.

D’Oliveira’s birth date is commonly stated as 4th October 1931 meaning he was 35 when he first played for England in 1966. However he has admitted that he lied about his age to improve his chances of playing Test Cricket. He might have actually been 38 or even 40 when he made his debut, almost old enough to play for RUASCC.

He played domestic cricket for Worcestershire and, in later years, became Coach. Then at New Road on the 19th of August 1991 he sat with my dad over lunch and they had a chat. When he learned that I was also at the ground he insisted I was given a pass to the Members Enclosure.

And that’s why I was standing in front of him. He asked if I was enjoying the game, he said he heard I was a Worcestershire supporter and, to my great delight, he gave me a Worcestershire CCC photograph and team sheet signed by all the players. It was, as my 12-year-old self might have said, “The Best Thing Ever”.

And then just when I thought it couldn’t get any better he said we should help ourselves to the scones.

Meanwhile, there was still a cricket match going on and Surrey were proving difficult to dislodge; the scorecard tells me that Ian Greig made 72 and Keith Medlycott also scored a fifty. Medlycott later spent a good deal of the evening session fielding on the boundary by the marquee so his was another autograph I collected that day. Sadly he had to retire at the end of the 1991 season aged only 26 but he went on to be a successful coach for Surrey.

The Evening Session

Eventually, after a brief rain delay, Stuart Lampitt picked up his fifth wicket and Surrey were dismissed for 360 leaving Worcestershire a target of 145 in 29 overs – a ridiculously simple task by today’s Twenty20 standards but by no means a foregone conclusion at the time.

The chase began badly – openers Curtis and Bent were both out cheaply – but Hick was in imperious form, belting sixes into the pavilion off none other than Pakistan legend Waqar Younis. My abiding memory of the day is how well Hick batted. On my birthday earlier that year I had been given my first cricket bat – a Graeme Hick “405” bat – and it was such a privilege to watch him play so majestically.

Waqar Younis, evidently unhappy about getting spanked, ripped out the middle order with three quick wickets; the ball that bowled Botham for a duck was so fast I couldn’t even see it. But despite this setback, Worcester charged on and even though Medlycott picked up two late wickets, including Hick for 85, the home side won by three wickets with a little time to spare.

I remember almost nothing after the moment victory was sealed. I imagine we applauded the players off the pitch; I certainly like to think we got the chance to thank Basil D’Oliveira for such a fabulous day before we left the ground. I don’t remember the drive home or much that happened for the rest of the summer.

The signed team sheet took pride of place on my wall. Twenty years on I still have it. It’s rather faded now, I’m afraid, but it still bears the signatures of Graeme Hick, Tom Moody, Ian Botham, Steven Rhodes, Richard Illingworth and many others including most poignantly Graham Dilley and, right there at the bottom, the wonderful Basil D’Oliveira.

***********

I remember much of this story as if it had happened yesterday, but for assistance with some of the finer details I am very thankful to the creators of this page:
http://stats.thecricketer.com/Scorecards/54/54787.html

Greys Green (H) – 3.9.11

RUASCC 219-2
Baker 103 not out, Carpenter 70

Greys 216-3
Baker 2-31, Zia 1-70

Match drawn

Exciting times! Our first home match of the season on the perfect batting track at Reading University! Dry as a bone and flat as a road, it brings to mind those Test Matches on the sub-continent where Rahul Dravid patiently compiles 651 not out against a tiring Sri Lankan spin attack who’ve bowled upward of a thousand overs. The Reading pitch is no friend to the bowler and so it proved as only five wickets fell for 435 runs and we saw two unbeaten centuries, including RUASCC’s first ton of the season.

Tranter lost the toss and we were asked to bat first, a prospect welcomed by our batting-rich team (in-form Malde at seven, Zia at eight!) Opening the innings was Dr Eagle who had just scored an unbeaten century for Kidmore End, but he put that temporary blip behind him and got straight back to business with a six-ball duck. Johnny Baker was hardly dressed in time but came in to join Carpenter with the score at 0-1.

The last time these two batted together was at Aldsworth where they put on 73. After 18 overs here they surpassed that total, building a solid foundation against decent bowling from Howles, Shafqat and Skilliter. After 20 overs they upped the pace: Carpenter moved to 48 with an enormous straight six (big boundaries at Reading!) and was the first of the two to reach fifty with a pushed single into the off-side. Baker reached his fify with his seventh four then Carpenter went on the attack, taking 14 from a single Shafqat over including another massive six over wide mid-on.

With the score at 145 Carpenter finally perished, caught on the cover boundary for a brilliant 70 which included six fours as well as the two maximums. Baker carried on the charge and hit a huge six of his own to reach 80 while Rupert Loader, playing his first RUASCC game of the year, found his feet at the other end. Skilliter returned but struggled with his length and Baker picked him off for more boundaries, eventually bringing up his century with his fourteenth four tucked away towards the pavilion where his teammates gave him a great ovation.

20 runs came from the last two overs as RUASCC reached 219-2 with Loader looking increasingly assured on 27 not out. The third wicket stand was an unbroken 74.

Greys need 220 runs to win

After a sensational Patel family tea RUASCC took to the field and Withers bowled three consecutive maidens in the early stages but the Greys openers would not be dislodged. The opening stand passed fifty before the first change brought the first wicket – and it was that man Johnny Baker again, clean bowling Skilliter for 22. Number three Holroyd gave the ball a damn good thump, hitting six fours before he was deceived by Baker’s slower ball. Howles didn’t last long before he clipped Zia’s worst ball of the day, a leg-side full toss, to Rupert Loader at square leg but any hopes of a RUASCC win were effectively ended by the arrival of Mo Shafqat.

Shafqat scored 98 in our first meeting this season and he joined opener Butler who by now had reached fifty with relative ease. Baker collapsed screaming in agony while attempting to bowl the final ball of his seventh over and for a moment it looked like he might have to make another trip to A&E – fortunately it turned out to be (merely) crippling cramp in both legs, which was actually quite funny once we realised nothing was broken. Baker left the field and was replaced by Ashman dressed from head to toe in cricketing blue while Tranter completed the over (one ball for one run).

After 26 overs Greys were 116-3 and needed 104 to win from the final 12, but with a draw looking a certainty RUASCC began to unravel and lost control of the game. The batsmen picked up twos with shots directly to fielders and were comfortably scoring the nine or ten an over they needed to keep the chase interesting. Young Ben Loader bowled a decent spell (5 overs, 0-22) but four overs from Chan and Dersh went for 42 as Butler reached his hundred and suddenly Greys needed a very gettable 39 from four overs.

This was reduced further to 18 from two but Withers kept his nerve to restrict the penultimate over to just six runs. Zia stepped up to bowl the final over and five runs came from the first three balls before a welcome dot ball calmed everyone’s nerves a bit. Needing eight to win Greys could only manage three more runs to finish on 216-3 - a thrilling finish for those who enjoy that particular brand of agony.

RUASCC Highlights: The 145 run stand between Baker and Carpenter, the three enormous sixes (two from Carpenter, one from Baker) and the full toss from Skilliter helped to the square leg boundary that brought Johnny Baker his century.

RUASCC Man of the Match: John Baker.

RUASCC Team: Eagle, Carpenter, Baker, R Loader, Dersh, Dip (wkt), Malde, Zia, Tranter (capt), B Loader, Withers

Fulmer (A) – 13.8.11

Fulmer 244-3
Tranter 1-12, Jagesh 1-46

RUASCC 140-8
Dip 67, Zia 25

RUASCC lost by 104 runs

Back to Berkshire and back to reality for RUASCC this week as we faced Fulmer in a new fixture and got well and truly humped in a limited-overs game at a picturesque ground just north of Slough. The day was overcast but warm and when Tranter lost the toss we were, as usual, asked to field first.

It looked bad from the outset. 25 runs came from the first two overs and although Jagesh and Withers were eventually able to bring the run rate down to below 12 the Fulmer openers scored heavily, punishing all of the loose balls and several of the tight ones too. Neither looked in any trouble at all until Ali tried to reverse sweep Pensioner Ken’s third ball and was hopelessly bowled for 43 – one wicket given away, but Fulmer had almost 200 on the board before they lost another.

Zia found a couple of edges that went into gaps in the field, including one that went very high and landed next to wicketkeeper Dip who’d lost sight of it, and Tranter dropped a slip catch via his face. The frustration continued as Dr Ashman served up a full toss that was lofted straight to Ken Stewart at deep backward square leg but the old man watched in despair as the ball wriggled free and hit the turf. Some expert shot placement brought fifties for both batsmen before Jagesh returned to remove Shyma for 53, well caught by Dr Ashman at mid off.

Field accelerated and hit 20 off one over from Stewart on his way to becoming the fifth opposition player to score a century against RUASCC this year. The onslaught continued but with the field spread we did at least manage to contain the boundaries in the final stages. Then in the 40th over Tranter picked up the third wicket as the Fulmer innings ended on 244-3.

RUASCC need 245 runs to win

RUASCC made a dreadful start when Carpenter was bowled first ball and two overs later Eagle was caught in the gully for 5 as what had appeared to be the perfect batting track when we were bowling suddenly became riddled with demons as balls spun, swung and seamed all over the place.

Dip and Zia played positively and got the scoreboard ticking along but Tamoor soon took his third wicket: Zia bowled for 25. Dersh joined his brother but after carefully playing himself in he chipped the ball up to mid off and was easily caught. With nearly 200 still needed for the win and a very long tail to follow the outcome of the match already had a depressing air of inevitability about it and there was little but pride to play for.

Rahul played a couple of lovely shots before he was bowled and Skipper Tranter was run out by a direct hit when going for a risky single, but Dip continued to accumulate and he reached an excellent fifty with another swipe to leg. Then just as we were willing him to push on and get a ton he made an injudicious dash down the wicket to the leg spinner and was stumped by some distance. A fine innings from RUASCC’s Little Master.

Jagesh had just managed to reach double figures when he became the eighth wicket to fall on 120 so it was down to Withers and Pensioner Ken to find 125 runs in the seven overs remaining. With nothing to lose Withers dusted off a couple of attacking shots and almost finished Ken off with an all-run four thanks to an overthrow. Stewart had gone a curious shade of grey by the time he saw out a final maiden over as RUASCC finished on 140-8 to lose by a great many runs. Withers survived a huge appeal in the penultimate over to end on 17 not out, more than doubling his season’s tally.

Our embarrassment was complete when the home captain admitted in the bar afterwards that he had refrained from using their best bowler, a very diplomatic way of telling us that he knew perfectly well exactly how shit we are. I wonder if England have considered pulling Jimmy Anderson out of the attack to give India a chance next time.

RUASCC Highlight: Pensioner Ken completing an all-run four. Meaningless in the context of the game, but it did at least shut him up for a few minutes.

RUASCC Man of the Match: It can only be Dip for his first decent knock of the season.

RUASCC Team: Eagle, Carpenter, Dip (wkt), Zia, Dersh, Rahul, Jagesh, Tranter (capt), Withers, Stewart, Ashman

England v India (2nd Test, Day 2, Trent Bridge) – 30.7.11

It’s been a busy couple of weeks, what with tour and everything, so my report from Trent Bridge has been slightly delayed. The bulk of this was written on Sunday 31st July (i.e. after day 3) so I have added a few editorial nudges.

* * * * * * * * * * *

If, like me, you only go to one day of live Test cricket each year, my advice is to make sure you choose a day that produces 288 runs, 10 wickets, a ton, two fifties and a blistering Stuart Broad hatrick that rips the roof off the stadium halfway through the final session. Otherwise I’m afraid it hardly seems worth it.

We felt a little while ago that these tickets would give us a decent chance of witnessing Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th international hundred and in accordance with Eagle’s specific instructions India began the second day’s play at Trent Bridge with one wicket down and the Little Master waiting to come in…

Morning Session

After several hours in the car we took our seats in the Radcliffe Road Stand at long-off/fine leg with two of the game’s finest batsmen, Rahul Dravid and VVS Laxman, at the crease. Four successive balls were dispatched to the boundary as Anderson and Broad struggled to find the right length but Strauss kept his attacking field which meant that on the fast outfield any well-placed shot went all the way – and there were some very well-placed shots in the first hour. Laxman brought up his fifty with his tenth four, driven through extra cover, and just when it seemed there was no hope for England, along came Big Tim Bresnan.

(Ed: Of the six people in our group I was the only one who thought the selectors were right to bring in Bresnan instead of Steve Finn. Now I’m not saying that Steve Finn definitely wouldn’t have taken five wickets and scored 90 in the second innings, but I’m mightily pleased that Big Bres did.)

Anyway, Bresnan got one to bounce and move away from Laxman who very kindly edged it behind to Matt Prior and the partnership was finally broken. That wicket brought in Sachin Tendulkar to a standing ovation from the Trent Bridge crowd, many of whom were willing him to reach that century landmark. Then a slightly odd period of play before lunch saw Kevin Pietersen and Jonathan Trott bowling at Dravid and Tendulkar - unsurprisingly there were no more wickets.

Afternoon Session

The return of the proper bowlers after lunch seemed to put a spark back into the England team and Tendulkar’s promising innings was cut short when he edged to Strauss at first slip. So no hundredth hundred this time, but for all we know it might have been the sixteenth time he’s scored 16.

The news just kept getting better for England: after Sachin’s dismissal Raina never looked comfortable and guided a wide long hop straight to Morgan at point, then Jonathan Trott landed painfully on his shoulder while fielding in the covers and was unable to bowl again. But just as it seemed England were really on top, Yuvraj Singh slashed Broad to gully and KP put it down. At this point India were still 80 runs behind but over the next hour and a half that missed chance looked as if it would prove costly.

Spurred on by the loud, irritating twat on the balcony behind us, Dravid and Yuvraj put on 128 runs spanning the tea interval. Dravid scored plenty in the vacant third man region (as did Bell the next day and many others in this game) and brought up his 34th Test hundred with a sweep off Graeme Swann who, like Jimmy Anderson, bowled well below his best and leaked runs all over the wicket. Swann didn’t seem to pose any kind of threat and his 12 overs cost 76 runs on a wicket that rendered Harbhajan Singh equally pointless for the tourists.

Yuvraj, having been dropped on four, passed fifty as India breezed past England’s first innings total and looked set to bat well into the weekend.

Evening Session

As enjoyable as Indian’s batting had been we all agreed that the day would be made a whole lot better if England could manage a really good session - nothing beats a good batting collapse after all. The period of play after tea was initially uneventful but then the bowlers got the boost they needed: the new ball.

Stuart Broad had been rested during the afternoon lull and he returned to the attack with fire in his eyes and steel in his balls. Yuvraj was the first to go, caught behind, and in Broad’s next over MS Dhoni, who clearly hadn’t settled, edged to Strauss for just 5. The crowd reacted with enthusiasm, the noise levels increased and Trent Bridge was buzzing as Harbhajan came to the crease to face his first ball. It also turned out to be his last ball as Broad beat him for pace and 20,000 people appealed for LBW. The umpire agreed and the ground went wild again. We were witnessing something very special indeed.

Now, no one came to Trent Bridge hoping to see a huge innings from Praveen Kumar. Kumar is expendable, like the Star Trek dude in the red shirt on the away mission to the dangerous planet Broad. As Kumar took his guard and looked nervously about, everyone in the stadium knew what was about to happen; everyone was on their feet already. To a deafening roar Stuart Broad pounded in, found the perfect line and length and the stumps were shattered. It was fucking awesome.

Such was the excitement in the ground at the time, we all believed he could make it four from four, and the way he hammered into Ishant Sharma you knew he believed it too. The ball was fast and full again but slightly down the leg side and Sharma poked it away with mighty relief. Broad had to settle for a treble-wicket-maiden and a standing ovation from the Nottingham crowd.

At this point Dravid realised he needed to go on the attack but at the first attempt he slashed a wide ball from Bresnan straight to the newly-installed third man. Fifteen minutes earlier India had been in control, 46 runs ahead with only four wickets down. Suddenly they had lost five wickets for six runs! The last pair swung the bat and added another 15 before Broad appropriately took the final wicket to finish on 6-46.

Ticket for the Test match: £60
Petrol from Reading to Nottingham: £45
Seeing Broad take a Test hatrick against the number 1 team in the world: £105
Don't let those bastards at MasterCard make you believe that shit comes for free

After a fourth consecutive failure for Alastair Cook (Ed: drop him!) England finished the day on exactly the same score, 24-1, as India had started it, but still trailed in the match by 43 runs.

The Aftermath

Having watched the channel 5 highlights (predominantly to see if we were on telly) I have now seen the enormous inside edge that Harbhajan knew he’d got onto his pads so I understand why he looked so distraught to be given out. But as they said on the TV, he only really has his own cricket board to blame for that one after they vetoed the use of the review system for LBW decisions. I wonder if the noise inside the stadium was partly responsible for the umpire missing the knick, in which case I’ll claim an assist too.

England have bowled out the number one Test side in the world for less than 300 in every innings of this series so far and have exposed a fragile tail that arguably starts with a shattered-looking MS Dhoni at number seven (Ed: recent innings at Edgbaston excepted of course). With both Anderson and Swann well below their best it needed someone else to put in a dominant display and wrestle back control from the Indian batsmen, and Stuart Broad’s spell of 16 balls, five wickets for no runs is about as dominant as you can get.

To add a note of caution: Stuart Broad was the final victim of the previous Test hatrick (Peter Siddle in Brisbane) so if the chain is to be continued that means that Praveen Kumar is due to take the next one.

What happened over the next two days further emphasised how Broad’s incredible spell turned the match around - India didn’t win another session and ended up soundly beaten.