Tilehurst & Theale (A) – 9.9.12

Tilehurst & Theale 209-8
Zia 4-46, Saad 3-53

RUASCC 191-8
Fawaz 58, Eagle 47

Match drawn

The second leg of our weekend double-header saw RUASCC travel to Tilehurst & Theale Cricket Club, a ground that’s seen plenty of runs in our recent encounters. As regular followers of the blog will know this is the fixture where I usually put songs into the match report – well, just for a change, this time I’ve put the match report into a song. With an appreciative nod to 1950s comedy duo Flanders & Swann, I present to you “The Batsman Cometh”.

(piano intro.)

'Twas on a recent Sunday we travelled down to Theale
Our skipper won the toss – and promptly chose to field
He threw the ball to Taimur, the innings to commence
But his first ball was a long-hop and was clattered to the fence.

Oh, it all makes work for the fielding team to do.

'Twas in the fifteenth over we saw a wicket fall
When Zia bowled a straight one – and Puri missed the ball
We’d been waiting for that breakthrough for an hour in the sun
And it was at least an hour before we saw another one.

Oh, it all makes work for the bowling team to do.

'Twas when he’d scored a hundred the opener retired
We’re rather glad he chose to go before we all expired
We tried some different bowlers, but all were doomed to fail
So we had to bring old Saad back on to come and clean the tail.

Oh, it all makes work for the taxi man to do.

'Twas from a Saad delivery that Wardy took a knock
While diving down the leg side, used his ankle for the block
The bruise and painful swelling made it hard to run about
So Withers took the gloves and promptly ran a batsman out.

Oh, it all makes work for the hospital to do.

'Twas when they’d passed two hundred the home side had enough
And based on recent history we could tell it would be tough
Then Carpenter and Ward got out with just five overs gone
And no one on the planet thought the victory might be on.

Oh, it all makes work for the batsmen still to do.

'Twas down to Doctor Eagle to try to make a score
And he was joined by Fawaz, who started with a four
They faced some useful bowling, which tested their techniques
So a hundred runs were added but it took them several weeks.

Oh, it all makes work for the scorer’s pen to do.

'Twas down to Brian Cooper to take the game apart
He bowled Fawaz for fifty-eight, and that was just the start
Main and Saad and Taimur were dealt with pretty quick
With Zia given leg-before despite a massive knick.

Oh, it all makes work for the umpire to do.

With forty runs still needed it wasn’t looking good
We would have liked to chase the win but didn’t think we could
With any decent batsmen we’d have won with time to spare
But neither Ken nor Withers could get it off the square.

The stubborn tail-enders simply shut and locked the door
So t’was on a Sunday evening that we finished with the draw.

RUASCC Highlight: Great to see Saad back and bowling quick!

RUASCC Man of the Match: Fawaz for his debut fifty.

RUASCC Team: Carpenter, Eagle (capt), Ward (wkt), Fawaz, Zia, Main, Taimur, Saad, Stewart, Withers, Ashman

Greys Green (H) – 8.9.12

RUASCC 67 all out
Zia 19, Stewart 14

Greys Green 68-6
Withers 4-30, Zia 2-31

RUASCC lost by 4 wickets

On a hot, sunny Saturday afternoon at the university RUASCC will feel they let this game slip away after a sensational batting performance was criminally wasted by wayward and sloppy bowling.

Eagle could hardly believe his luck when Greys won the toss and asked him to bat, and together with Mike Ward he got the innings off to the perfect start by scoring runs in the very first over. And several more runs followed before Ward was caught at slip for a magnificent three, ending a very useful opening partnership that nevertheless set the perfect foundation for what was to follow.

Zia joined Eagle and set off in his usual style hitting countless boundaries as the pair pushed the score first past 20, then past 30 as the bowlers melted and the fielders cried and cried. For Zia this was one of his very best knocks for RUASCC, a colossal performance that was only ended when a momentary lapse of concentration saw him bowled by Rooke. Meanwhile Dr Eagle was looking to convert his double-figure score into a so-called “Daddy Teen” but tiredness crept in and a lazy swing at an Ahmed straight ball saw him clean bowled for 13.

Any joy on the bowler’s part at taking the wicket would have turned to despair when he saw Loader stride to the crease, and sure enough the new batsman teased and toyed with the bowling for the best part of an over before he graciously allowed himself to retire LBW for 0. Tranter, batting up the order at number six, demonstrated all his tactical nous and experience by being caught at mid-off for 0, and Russell Turley demonstrated that he’s not overawed at this level by being bowled first ball for 0.

Through all this excitement Dip had weighed anchor and was playing the sort of mature, responsible innings we’ve come to expect – not without its fair share of aggression (he found the boundary on no less than one occasion) his guiding hand led RUASCC to the brink of scoring 50 runs before he succumbed LBW to one of the very best deliveries in the history of cricket. The honour of pushing us beyond the 50 milestone went to Alan Ward who scored just enough runs to take us there before he was bowled by Ahmed for one.

With the pressure off, the gleeful tailenders tore into the bowling and Stewart peppered all parts of the square with his monstrous pat-downs while Withers played so beautifully straight that Greys could have dispensed with at least seven fielders. A huge, free-scoring partnership ensued with a run being added in almost every one of the 14 overs the pair stayed together. Eventually Stewart got a little too ambitious and actually tried to hit one but by then the damage was done – RUASCC had amassed 66-9 and there were still 10 overs to go before the scheduled tea time.

Dr Ashman, sensing the mood perfectly, attempted a reverse-ramp-switch-scoop-drive from his third ball but he didn’t quite nail the execution and was caught at leg-gully for a tremendous 0.

With such a grand total on the board Dr Eagle knew that a win was a nigh-on certainty as long as his bowlers kept their nerve, but over the next couple of hours the captain was badly let down. Withers, usually capable of at least imitating respectability, descended to the level of a safari park chimp flinging faeces at passers-by. Zia tried hard, bless him, but it might be time to own up to the fact that he’s simply not good enough at this level.

Runs were scored from the majority of overs that the two hapless chancers threw down – sometimes as many as one or two at a time. And even when they did manage to fluke a maiden they didn’t get many wickets. But as the saying goes, even a pissed up tramp vomiting up his special brew sometimes hits a dustbin, and Withers eventually trapped Cross LBW with his first straight delivery of the day.

In the next over Zia’s absurd slower ball made Holroyd feel so miserable that he voluntarily gave up his wicket, but opener Butler continued to treat the “attack” with the contempt it deserved as Greys coasted towards victory. Not even a five over spell where three wickets fell for no runs could halt the miserable bowling collapse, and Withers, who wasted 14 overs with this filth, was replaced by Loader who kept it tight for one ball before conceding the run that lost the game. Not his fault. Not even Dennis Lillee could have rescued the sorry mess our bowlers created for us.

RUASCC Highlight: So difficult to choose one individual highlight from a batting performance so utterly, relentlessly compelling as this one, but if forced into a corner I would say that our second leg bye was as close to perfection as I’ve seen in a long time.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Dr Ashman.

RUASCC Team: M Ward, Eagle (capt), Zia, Loader, Dip (wkt), Tranter, Turley, Stewart, A Ward, Withers, Ashman

Hambleden (A) – 2.9.12

RUASCC 182-8
Main 37, Ward 27

Hambleden 70-3
Zia 2-8, Stewart 1-15

Match abandoned due to rain

It’s always good to visit the picturesque Hambleden hills - such a shame on this occasion that the weather seemed intent to ruin the occasion. What started as cloudy, overcast conditions eventually descended into constant drizzle, then a heavy shower, eerie darkness and a sadly inevitable abandonment of what was shaping up to be a likely win for RUASCC.

Dr Eagle won the toss and opted to make use of the best conditions in a limited-overs game, and this looked the right decision from the start as the captain put on a near-faultless opening stand of 64 with Mike Ward. Eagle’s first delivery, a wide long-hop, was smashed to the boundary at cover and despite some tense moments as he neared double figures (“the nervous nines” said Dr Ashman knowingly) he looked reasonably untroubled. Ward meanwhile pulled powerfully for two fours down to the pavilion where the rest of his RUASCC teammates welcomed every run.

Eagle was first to go when he chipped to mid-off for 26 and Ward (27) followed not long after when he offered a simple catch to backward square-leg. Carpenter started strongly with a couple of boundaries but having hit Walker’s first delivery for another four he was caught off the very next ball.

Zia and Chan exchanged some interesting calling and Zia just survived a run out when the man at cover just missed the stumps – then just a few overs later he called a risky second and a decent throw from the boundary sent him packing for 15. Dip was bowled for 0 in the same over to leave RUASCC 109-5 with 12 overs remaining.

What followed was the second important partnership of the innings: Bruce Main got off the mark with a boundary then hit a massive six over mid-wicket while his partner Malde played for singles at first before battering a couple of fours himself. 42 runs were added in eight overs before Malde was caught for 20, but the runs continued to flow as Tranter launched a straight lofted drive and Bruce clubbed a few more to push the total up towards 180.

In the final over Main was bowled going for another big hit, Pensioner Ken Stewart was run out for 0 as he went for a little wander and Tranter finished on 12 not out in what constituted a very decent score for RUASCC.

The rain arrived during the tea interval and never really went away; the Hambleden batsman found scoring runs difficult and Zia clean bowled both openers in his five-over spell. Withers bowled his eight overs for just 16 runs and Ken Stewart proved dangerous bowling down the hill and picked up a wicket thanks to a good catch from Eagle at mid-on. With 17 overs remaining Hambleden still needed 113 to win but conditions put an end to the run chase and after a short wait in the pavilion the whole group retired to the pub across the road.

RUASCC Highlight: Tranter and Main adding 28 in three overs towards the end of the innings.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Bruce Main.

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle (capt), Carpenter, Zia, Malde, Dip (wkt), Main, Tranter, Stewart, Withers, Ashman

Frieth (A) – 26.8.12

RUASCC 92 all out
Malde 16, Stewart 12 not out

Frieth 94-8
Zia 6-15, Withers 2-48

RUASCC lost by 1 wicket

It’s always a close game when we play Frieth. Two years ago, defending 112, we lost by just one wicket. Last year we successfully chased 147 with not much time to spare thanks to a superb innings from Zia. This year, despite being bowled out for 92 in just 30 overs, we really should have won.

With Eagle absent for the first time this season and two players pulling out on the day of the game RUASCC were already in some disarray before the scheduled start time of 2pm. To add to the chaos captain Zia arrived a few minutes late so Dr Ashman lost the toss on his behalf and we were asked to bat. Frieth generously donated a youngster, Peter Collins, so the teams were even at 10 aside.

Carpenter realised it was down to him to open the batting so he looked around at this sorry collection of individuals to see if any of them might be capable of propping themselves up at the non-striker’s end while he got on with the job of scoring some runs. Eventually his eyes settled on Withers who pretended to be closely studying the scorebook hoping he was suddenly invisible. Withers had already clocked sight of someone who looked a lot like a very tall, very fast bowler and he was rather hoping not to have to be within 22 yards of him if he could possibly help it.

Nevertheless, five minutes later Withers propped himself up at the non-striker’s end as “The Bowler” Boyce, a simply magnificent specimen close up, breezed in to deliver the first ball of the match which Carpenter effortlessly brushed off for a single to square leg. Withers took guard and, with a tiny trickle of urine dribbling down his trouser leg, somehow managed to see off the rest of the over before gratefully handing as much of the strike as he could back to his partner.

Carpenter had reached nine before he was bowled by Boyce (swoon) with one that kept a bit low. Malde set to work quickly, hitting three boundaries before Withers’ patient vigil was ended, by Boyce again, as he decided to leave a straight one and was bowled on off-stump. RUASCC had looked solid but unspectacular at 43-1 but by the time Withers had taken his pads off we had collapsed to 50-7 – new bowler Ben Smiley picked up five wickets in his first three overs to get rid of Malde, Greenhalf, Zia, Collins and Jagesh.

Some clean hitting from Dale Partridge helped to add 24 for the eighth wicket but he middled another Smiley delivery straight to mid-on to bring last man Dr Ashman to the crease. Ashman belted a couple of boundaries of his own as we briefly threatened to reach 100 but he found backward short-leg with the final ball of the 30th over to bring the innings to a close. Pensioner Ken Stewart was the man unbeaten with 12.

Withers and Jagesh opened the bowling and kept it tight for a few overs before Withers bowled left-handed Wright through the gate to make it 16-1. Next man in was Mr Boyce, and any doubts as to whether he could bat as well as bowl were soon put to rest as fifteen seconds later we were rescuing the ball from the long grass beyond the mid-wicket boundary. Carpenter replaced Jagesh and started with a maiden but any hopes of a breakthrough were dashed as four quite presentable chances were put down in quick succession – most notably when Boyce skewed to Jagesh at point. It was only when Zia brought himself on that Boyce eventually perished for 27, a big score in the circumstances, with keeper Partridge just stealing the catch from under Ashman’s nose.

Zia then picked up his second, bowling Webber for two, and Withers held a diving return catch to dismiss opener McKenzie to leave Frieth 51-4. Once again the arrival of Ben Smiley turned things in the home side’s favour and soon enough without further loss Frieth were just seven runs from victory. Then Zia came on to bowl his fifth over.

With the first delivery Koslewski offered a simple catch back to the bowler. The second delivery saw Hanson clean bowled for a golden duck, leaving Zia on a hatrick. The RUASCC field closed in, Zia sent down another quick, straight one which rapped the pad bang in front – to a massive roar the umpire raised his finger and Zia had his hatrick.

After a long wait for a new batsman Zia sent down another corker – plum in front again, loud appeal – OUT! Four in four for Zia and Frieth were down to their last wicket still with seven runs to win.

In the face of intense pressure the home skipper saw off the remaining two balls of Zia’s over, a quadruple wicket maiden, to bring Smiley back on strike to Withers. After the first delivery went for two runs there was another massive appeal for LBW, this time turned down by the umpire, and eventually Smiley won the game with a slash down to third man.

BEER MATCH

The early finish prompted a ten-over beer match in which Withers took the gloves and claimed his first ever stumping in Dr Ashman’s over. There were notable performances from Carpenter who took 2-2 and Greenhalf who made up for his earlier first ball dismissal by hitting 22 including a six at the top of the innings. Chasing 68 to win RUASCC eventually stumbled over the line with just one ball to spare, guest star Peter Collins hitting the winning runs.

RUASCC Highlight: Zia’s four-wicket maiden that almost won us the match.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Zia.

RUASCC Team: Carpenter, Withers, Malde, Zia (capt), Greenhalf, Stewart, Collins, Jagesh, Partridge (wkt), Ashman

Fulmer (A) – 18.8.12

Fulmer 206-4 dec
Stewart 2-32, Zia 1-40

RUASCC 110 all out
Zia 82, Dip 11

RUASCC lost by 96 runs

On this baking hot Saturday afternoon in mid-August RUASCC were given a cricketing lesson for the second year in a row by Fulmer CC, just north of Slough. With only ten fielders we put in a decent shift but still got carted for over 200 in 41 overs, but with the bat everyone with the exception of Zia had their arses well and truly handed to them. It is fair to say that we missed the steadying influence of Ian Carpenter who didn’t quite manage to turn up on the right day.

Last season Fulmer scored 244-3 thanks largely to an unbeaten century by Field; this year Field opened again and scored another unbeaten century. I’m wondering if he shouldn’t perhaps change his name to “Bat”.

After Withers and Zia each opened with a maiden the runs started to flow and the score had reached 37 when Withers trapped Kuman LBW with a slower ball that may or may not have been hitting the stumps. This proved to be a mistake as it brought Ali to the wicket and he hit three of the remaining balls of Withers’ over to the boundary. Ali continued to thrash it around before he was eventually caught by Jagesh off Zia for 49.

The pace slowed somewhat after that as the two batsmen nudged the ball around taking long, slow singles in the energy-sapping heat. Jagesh and Ashman each had a spell without reward so Eagle turned to his breakthrough bowler Pensioner Ken Stewart. This worked almost straight away – Jagesh accepted another catch to finally end the 87-run partnership and King was bowled for 0 in the same over.

Fulmer carried on just long enough for Field to reach three figures then declared moments before Withers would have returned to clean up the tail.

The feeling in the RUASCC dressing room was that if we were to win the game then Zia would have to score a century. So Zia went out to open the batting with Eagle and before long we realised that if we were to win the game Zia would probably have to score a double-century.

While Zia took the bowling apart with some blistering strokes the rest of the batting line-up simply crumpled. The statistics are staggering: Dip and Extras were joint second top scorers on 11, then Eagle third with 5. The other seven batsmen contributed just ONE run between them. Six ducks, all clean bowled. And what makes it even worse – that one run was scored by Ken Stewart who remained not out.

Zia had already hit three fours and a six by the time Eagle was caught behind for the first wicket, then both Dersh and Rahul were bowled for 0 to leave us 28-3. Dip provided valuable support as the onslaught continued: Zia brought up his fifty with his tenth four then hit three more fours and a six to move to 70 - he was prepared to win the thing on his own until a leg injury severely hampered his running.

Sure enough the partnership was soon ended by a run out – but in fact it was Dip who failed to make his ground, beaten by a direct hit from the impressive Ali to end a partnership of 78. With Zia at the crease we still had hope, but the strength had deserted him and he offered two catching chances in successive balls, the second one taken at gully to end a quite brilliant innings of 82.

There was nothing left for RUASCC – when we lost Zia we lost the game. In just half an hour 106-3 became 110 all out as Fulmer finished the job with 16 overs to spare.

RUASCC Highlight: It was quite funny when Dip took a Zia drive directly in the chest at the non-striker’s end. Although possibly not for Dip.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Oh I don’t know really.

RUASCC Team: Zia, Eagle (capt), Dersh, Rahul, Dip (wkt), Scarr, Jagesh, Stewart, Withers, Ashman

RUASCC Apologies: Carpenter

Wargrave (H) – 5.8.12

Wargrave 174-6 dec
Stewart 3-46, Withers 1-9

RUASCC 94-9
Carpenter 23, Weeks 13

Match drawn

I don’t feel like wasting too many words on this one as it follows a very similar pattern to the Braywood game the week before: RUASCC bowl first and do a reasonably OK job, drop a few catches, then have a bat and fall a long way short of the mark but cling on for a draw. The game was at least notable for being our first this season at our “home” ground at Reading University.

Withers opened with a wicket maiden, bowling the left-handed Drew through the gate, and followed up with three more consecutive maidens from the tennis court end. Meanwhile the batsmen were taking six an over from Jagesh at the other end so Carpenter was brought on to calm things down a bit. Withers completed a ten-over spell conceding just nine runs but despite this the second-wicket partnership added 92 before they were eventually separated by that man Ken Stewart again – Eagle taking the catch.

Poor old Ken should have had six wickets in this match but he didn’t have much luck: Jagesh spilled two straightforward chances at mid-on and Wardy failed to hold on when diving to his left at square leg – all off the same batsman! Fittingly the two chastened fielders later combined to run the man out but by then he’d scored 72.

Stewart did earn an LBW to remove Davies for 20 before French was run out for 4 as RUASCC rallied. Then Chan’s superb fielding directly led to another wicket: angry at picking out Chan at short mid-off the ball before, Clark Junior came dancing down the wicket to Ken and was stumped by a couple of yards. The final wicket to fall came from an unlikely source as Mike Ward’s occasional slow ones gave another catch to Captain Eagle at mid-off, and it’s fair to say that Wardy would have had a second wicket but for Dip’s grotesque manhandling of another stumping chance.

RUASCC would usually feel confident of topping 174 on the university wicket and the opening batsmen survived the first ten overs before Eagle was caught behind for nine and Ward gave catching practice to slip for just six. Carpenter set off confidently and got the scoreboard going while Gehlot (3) was run out and we reached drinks needing 117 from the final 20 overs with seven wickets in hand.

Our hopes largely depended on Carpenter but he scooped the first ball after the break straight to point and a promising innings was ended on 23. Dip (3) was dismissed in the next over, closely followed by Chan (0) and Stewart (1). We do love a good collapse and from 58-3 we were suddenly 66-7 with 15 overs remaining.

Having already dropped two catches Jagesh was having a bit of a special day and it didn’t get a whole lot better when he was given run out for five when he looked suspiciously safe. Poor old Jagesh made his way back to the pavilion where he crossed a black cat, walked into a door and stumbled backwards onto a rake which sprung up and hit him in the back of the head, pushing him face first into a wheelbarrow full of manure in the style of Biff Tannen from Back to the Future.

Tom Weeks became only the second RUASCC batsman to reach double figures before he was bowled for 13 and his departure meant Withers and Ashman had to see out eight more overs to earn a draw. Facing increasing tetchiness from the growing ring of close fielders the two ever-reliable blockers put together a painfully slow partnership against innocuous slow bowling – both men quietly wondering why Wargrave didn’t bring the quicks back on to finish the job.

Withers saw off the final over without difficulty and we finished the match just 80 runs behind.

RUASCC Highlight: Chan’s diving stops at short mid-off.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Jagesh.

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle (capt), Gehlot, Carpenter, Dip (wkt), Malde, Weeks, Stewart, Jagesh, Withers, Ashman

Braywood (A) – 29.7.12

Braywood 151-8 dec
Zia 4-19, Withers 3-43

RUASCC 92-6
Eagle 17 not out, Ward 16, Zia 16

Match drawn

Match drawn! Are there any two words more warming to the RUASCC soul? Seven hours in a wet field, two rain delays, a very decent tea and that glorious result: “match drawn”. We couldn’t quite reach 100 runs but it hardly matters - after two consecutive defeats we were back to drawing ways.

The pitch, we were told, had been under water the week before and with rain falling all morning it was a miracle the game got underway at all. Braywood won the toss and opted to bat with dark thunderclouds looming on three sides of the ground and we’d only managed three overs before we were forced off by a heavy shower. At the resumption Withers, who was having no luck bowling straight, was forced to rely on two half volleys way outside leg stump for his first two wickets – leading edges caught by Zia at mid-on and Jagesh at short fine-leg.

In fact, this was generally an encouraging bowling and fielding performance from RUASCC: Andy Ashman bowled his longest spell for a while (nine overs) and took one wicket thanks to a sharp catch at the wicket by Tom Weeks, while Pensioner Ken Stewart bowled eight overs for just 20 runs and took a good catch in the covers to give Withers his third wicket.

Braywood reached 118-4 and the course of the innings remained very much in the balance when Zia was introduced to bowl the 32nd over. Ten overs later the home side had added 31 runs for the loss of four wickets – all to Zia – thanks partly to catches from Ward and Withers on the leg-side boundary. At 5.15pm, with the fall of the eighth wicket, the declaration came.

Ward and Carpenter opened the innings, allowing Dr Eagle to drop down the order, and the two batsmen began cautiously on the wet pitch against slow, accurate bowling. Carpenter was bowled for nine to bring Zia in, but despite getting off the mark with a boundary the new batsman had every bit as much difficulty getting the ball away and the score ticked along at a little under three per over. Ward was next to go, then Zia was stumped dancing down the wicket before Malde followed almost immediately, caught at short leg. 44-1 had turned into 49-4 and RUASCC needed 103 to win in 20 overs with six wickets in hand, although a quick glance at the long tail suggested victory was unlikely.

Weeks hit seven before offering a simple return catch to the bowler and his dismissal brought Tranter to the crease to join Dr Eagle. These two men, the backbone of RUASCC in the 21st century, soon put an end to any thoughts we may have had about victory or, to be fair, defeat. Over the course of the next twelve overs the pair added 27 runs, six of them from one ball that Eagle long-armed over deep square leg, while those who were left in the pavilion relaxed, safe in the knowledge that we weren’t going to lose. However mind-numbingly tedious it may have seemed at the time.

But then, perhaps just to give the spectators something to cheer about, Tranter set off for a second run that Eagle didn’t want and was out by the length of the pitch. We couldn’t quite make out what was said between the two as Tranter left the field but someone thought they heard the word “cretin” hover in the air. Anyway, not to worry: Jagesh helped Eagle see out the last few overs and RUASCC finished nowhere near the target, but also nowhere near being bowled out. 92 runs in 41 overs – match drawn!

RUASCC Highlight: No, not really.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Zia

RUASCC Team: Ward, Carpenter, Zia, Eagle (capt), Malde, Weeks (wkt), Tranter, Jagesh, Stewart, Withers, Ashman