Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Britwell Salome (A) – 3.7.11

RUASCC 164-8
Tranter 32 not out, Eagle 27

Britwell 168-5
Withers 3-67, Baker 1-28

RUASCC lost by 5 wickets

The Britwell fixture is one we always look forward to so it was something of a surprise to see Andy scrambling around for players during the week leading up to the game - many thanks to Zia’s brother Waqar and Andy Scarr for joining in the fun. On what felt like the first warm Sunday of the season Captain Carpenter lost the toss and was asked to bat first on a track with variable (low) bounce and a rather striking slope to contend with.

Eagle and Carpenter made steady progress for the first half hour before Carpo got bored with steady and hit four quick boundaries to get things moving along. Unfortunately he then tried to cut a ball that dipped back a mile and bowled him for 25. Number three Baker looked comfortable immediately and he added 21 in a 25-run partnership before using his feet beautifully to miss a straight one.

RUASCC looked to have been coasting at 72-1 but in true RUASCC fashion collapsed to 113-7 against fairly innocuous bowling, losing six wickets in 12 overs including the farcical run out that saw Eagle and Chan having an argument at the non-striker’s end while the wicketkeeper was almost too embarrassed to take the bails off 22 yards away. It was eventually decided that Eagle had to go, and when the distressed opener reached the pavilion he kept walking straight out of the ground. “He’s gone to buy a gun,” said Dr Ashman authoritatively.

Zia (4) spooned his second ball straight up in the air before Waqar (8) Chan (12) and Scarr (1) were all bowled, meaning that with an hour left to bat we had to rely on Pensioner Ken Stewart and Richard Tranter to get us out of the mess.

Tranter cracked a couple of boundaries to keep the score moving while Stewart did well to contain his natural attacking impulse to score seven runs in 13 overs. Then, just after Tranter had belted a perfect straight drive for another four, Stewart was mercifully given out LBW. With ten minutes remaining Tranter clobbered a six over mid-on to take the score past 150 then added a run a ball with Dr Ashman to finish unbeaten on a 21st century high score of 32. RUASCC 164-8.

Britwell need 165 runs to win

Baker and Withers opened the bowling and Britwell, who we were reliably informed didn’t have many batsmen, cruised along to 33-0 with a few early boundaries. In the eighth over Withers found his line and length and drew an edge which Chan put down behind the stumps – fortunately the next ball did exactly the same thing and this time Channy clung onto a much tougher chance diving to his right.

The next two overs were both wicket-maidens as Baker’s off-cutter did for the other opener and Withers tormented the new batsman with five outswingers before the straight one pegged back his off-stump. A short while later an unusually rampant Withers took his third wicket to leave Britwell 56-4.

But then, not for the first time this season, we let the batsmen back into the game. Neither Zia nor his brother Waqar could find a breakthrough as Britwell jogged along at four runs per over. A full-blooded sweep almost brought a remarkable catch by Withers diving to his left at leg-slip but otherwise there were no chances offered before eventually Waqar trapped Clarke LBW for 33 with 35 runs still needed in six overs.

Withers returned at the death but didn’t pose any threat at all with a ball that now resembled a sweet potato - one over went for 15 as Lawrence passed fifty and took all the tension out of the game. Needing just eight from the last two overs they scored them all in six balls off Withers, whose figures took a bit of a pounding.

So RUASCC’s win-loss record for 2011 is now 2-4, and we keep up their proud record of letting an opposition batsman score a fifty in every game this season (except Farley Hill where Ditchburn retired on 48 not out). More on that particular phenomenon in due course.

RUASCC Highlight: The couple of overs during which Withers and Baker reduced Britwell from 33-0 to 33-3. Everything was going so well for a little while.

RUASCC Man of the Match: For top-scoring with 32 not out and at least giving us a total to fail to defend – Richard Tranter.

RUASCC Team: Eagle, Carpenter (capt), Baker, Zia, Malde (wkt), Waqar, Scarr, Stewart, Tranter, Ashman, Withers

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Bluecoat Staff (A) – 10.6.11

Bluecoat 137-7 (20 overs)
Withers 2-25, Ashman 1-6

RUASCC 101-1 (13.5 overs)
Baker 46 not out, Extras 38

Match abandoned due to rain

For the second time this week the rain put an end to proceedings, and this time RUASCC were looking at a comfortable win needing just a run a ball from six overs with nine wickets in hand.

We arrived at the smart new Bluecoat Pavilion before 5pm to find a school game nearing the end of the first innings. The start of our game was therefore delayed by about an hour and after losing the toss and witnessing a thrilling last-ball finish (Bluecoat lost) we took to the field at 6.30pm. Main and Baker opened the bowling and the Bluecoat openers made a brisk start before Pett pulled up with a groin strain and barely got going again before he was run out by Baker at the non-striker’s end.

The two batsmen made good use of the three short boundaries to push the score up to 80-1 after ten overs but a well-taken catch at backward point by Baker off Greenhalf put an end to that. Greenhalf then took a catch of his own off Withers who took two wickets in his third over, the second a textbook outswinger caught behind by (Young Sam) Griffiths. Withers and Griffiths combined again to earn the second run out of the innings as Bluecoat lost their early momentum.

In a bid to help them find it again, Tranter brought himself on with four overs to go. However, bowling from his shortened run up (one step) he was far too much to handle and picked up his first wicket of the year with something that pitched, and in a straight line too. At the other end Dr Ashman was also on the money and won an LBW verdict to finish with 1-6 from two overs. A very welcome decent bowling and fielding performance from RUASCC restricted Bluecoat to 137-7 from 20 overs.

RUASCC need 138 runs to win

With the light already fading fast we turned around quickly and sent Eagle and Dip to open the batting. Both men had picked up a single when Dip was bowled by one that kept low (lower than Dip, which is startling) to bring Baker to the crease. With plenty of runs coming from byes and wides (though not as many wides as the batsmen would have liked) the run rate ticked along nicely despite Eagle scoring only in singles. In the increasing gloom, with a damp outfield, it was proving difficult to play with any fluency but neither batsman looked in any danger and Baker did find the boundary a few times on his way to another score in the forties.

Then in the 14th over, just as the hundred came up on the best electronic scoreboard Withers has ever had the pleasure of doing business with, the drizzle gave way to a hail storm and suddenly eleven fielders, two batsmen and two umpires hurtled back towards the shelter of the pavilion covering themselves with anything that came to hand. The match was over and not only had Baker been denied a likely half century, the middle order of Chan, Young Sam and Greenhalf were denied their chance to bat at all. Chan, desperate for an outlet for his pent up energy, began drinking immediately.

RUASCC Highlight: The perfect dismissal for a right-arm medium-paced swing bowler – Withers finds the edge, Griffiths takes the catch.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Baker was on course to win the game before the hail came, and he took a catch too.

RUASCC Team: Eagle, Dip, Baker, Malde, Griffiths (wkt), Greenhalf, Main, Tranter (capt), Ashman, Withers

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Wargrave (A) – 5.6.11

Wargrave 229-9
Zia 3-26, Jagesh 2-17

Match abandoned due to rain

A heavy shower followed a useless shower on Sunday afternoon as RUASCC turned in a fielding performance that flitted between the realms of comedy and tragedy at Wargrave Recreation Ground. Tranter won the toss on a grey, windy afternoon and RUASCC took to the field in drizzle for a 40-over game that actually ended up as a 40-over game.

Main and Zia quickly removed the two openers - Main took the first wicket as Eagle held onto a catch at mid-off and Zia took a simple one-handed catch off his own bowling - but to set the tone for the next couple of hours, three other chances had already gone down. The miserly Bruce Main bowled four maidens in his eight over spell and Zia bowled the new man for a duck to give RUASCC an excellent start.

Withers officially opened the buffet by shipping 20 runs in his first two overs but persevered to take wickets with consecutive balls, and Jagesh picked up two LBWs in a commendably tight spell to make it 64-7 before the halfway point.

From a position of apparent hopelessness Wargrave rallied as two very useful batsmen came in at numbers eight and nine. They added 50 runs in the next ten overs and it seemed they might at least make a game of it; then they added another 50 in the next five overs and suddenly we were looking at a total to chase. The one word you can’t use to describe the partnership is “chanceless” - practically every RUASCC fielder was offered the opportunity to catch one of them out, but nothing stuck. Withers, Main, Zia and Carpenter will all be kicking themselves after failing to hold on when they got good hands to the ball, although it’s possible Zia deliberately dropped his to deny Tranter a wicket. By the end of the 40 overs only Tranter, Ward and Jagesh remained innocent of spurning opportunities.

The home side passed 200 and “Ratty” (batting for the first time in eight years) attempted a big shot on 49 - alas, as a result he was stumped by half a yard to give Ashman (1-63) a wicket. Zia returned at the death to remove Owen first ball (a catch even Withers couldn’t drop) and Wargrave were down to their last wicket.

Robinson wasn’t finished yet though: after a brutal attack in the final over he hit a huge straight six from the last ball of the innings to finish 100 not out. Wargrave scored 229-9 having added 108 in the last ten overs.

At tea the intermittent drizzle gave way to a full on shower and at 5.15pm the captains agreed to knock it on the head. Wargrave had a lucky escape if you ask me. Just look at the batting line up: Eagle is due a big score, Wardy and Zia are still unbeaten from two weeks ago and Carpenter had a look in his eye that said "I'm gonna fuck you up chappy, so don't even try it." And that’s before Chan and his massive bat get a look in. Let’s face it, a RUASCC win was a nigh-on certainty.

RUASCC Highlight: It’s getting pretty desperate when I can’t think of anything better than Wardy skilfully stopping a boundary with the outside of his foot.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Jagesh - took his first two wickets of the season in an economical spell and was one of the very few who didn’t drop a catch.

RUASCC Team: Ward, Eagle, Carpenter, Dip (wkt), Malde, Zia, Main, Tranter (capt), Jagesh, Ashman, Withers

Monday, 30 May 2011

Englefield Photos - 2.5.11

Many thanks to Dr Eagle for providing these photos of the match at Englefield on 2nd May 2011.

The pitch is set in the deer park in the grounds of the Englefield Estate.


With the scoreboard showing 6-1 (Eagle bowled for 0) Carpenter strides down the wicket to explain to his new partner exactly what Eagle did wrong.


Baker and Carpenter added 72 runs for the second wicket before giving their wickets away like Sri Lankans in Cardiff.


OK so we ended up losing by 8 wickets and suffering severe wind burn, but isn't it lovely and pretty.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Ken Stewart – A Birthday Message

No match for RUASCC over the bank holiday so I thought it might be a nice opportunity to offer this birthday tribute to Pensioner Ken Stewart, who, if his luck’s in, will turn 72 this week.

I apologise now for any factual errors and omissions in the narrative which are entirely caused by the fact that I only met him for the first time last year.

* * * * * * *

Early Life

Like the Second World War, Ken Stewart began in 1939. And like the Second World War, Ken Stewart has caused misery to thousands of grieving widows all over London Town.

Born in Scotland at a young age, Baby Ken was used successfully to scare the Nazis away from Hadrian’s Wall. His achievements were the inspiration behind the Hitchcock horror The Wee Thing which was deservedly a massive failure. The child star was given a single penny for his share of the royalties which he kept in a sock underneath his pillow until long after the sock was worth more than the penny.

As a child Ken was raised on a diet of tripe and asbestos which he watered down with condensation sucked from lampposts and parked bicycles, giving him the robust constitution which serves him well to this day.

The Middle Ages

At the tender age of 14 Ken built his first house out of maize. His vulnerable new home was soon threatened by a big bad wolf who huffed and puffed but soon realised he didn’t huff and puff as much as Ken does. Eventually they declared a truce and went into business selling pork products. Tiring of the business world Ken joined the Merchant Navy where he was employed primarily as an anchor.

A keen footballer until the age of 65, Ken was distraught when he realised he was no longer fit enough to play at exactly the same time he became entitled to cheaper bus fares to get to the games.

“Cricket”

Ken has enjoyed an exceptional cricketing career as a left-arm donkey dropper and right-hand number ten stodge-bucket.

In February 1979, a few months before Ken’s 40th birthday, I was born at the Royal Berkshire Hospital in Reading, setting off a chain of events that would eventually lead to me calling him a useless, miserable, short-arsed tosser in the summer of 2010. After joining RUASCC at the age of 70 he soon won the Young Player of the Year Award after a match-saving 46 not out against Britwell Salome that he simply will not shut the fuck up about.

With senility now well and truly settling in, Ken is becoming more forgetful and also more forgetful. He lost a brand new sweater during a match earlier this season but to his credit he rarely ever mentions it.

On 22nd May 2011 Ken made a diving stop at short mid-wicket from which his friends feared he may never recover. He is now heading for a well-deserved period of rest and recuperation at his golf course in Spain, giving us all a very welcome break from his incessant whinging.

Happy Birthday Kenny.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Tilehurst & Theale (A) – 22.5.11

Tilehurst & Theale 219-4 dec
Main 2-57, Zia 2-72

RUASCC 223-2
Zia 90 not out, Ward 69 not out

RUASCC won by 8 wickets.

For the third consecutive match RUASCC turned up with only ten players and were again fortunate to be offered the services of a young boy. (I feel I could have phrased that better but time is pressing.) Eagle stood in as skipper and probably would have fielded had he won the toss, but he lost the toss and we ended up fielding anyway so that’s all right then.

I won’t dwell too long on the T&T innings even though it felt at the time like it would never end. Using their full 44 overs the home side reached 219-4 at tea including a partnership of 152 for the third wicket. Zia bowled 19 overs, Main bowled 13 overs; each took two wickets, but there was so much time in between when all the fielders seemed to do was chase the ball to the boundary.

A force eight gale blew relentlessly around the ground and on a cricket field there’s nowhere to hide. The bails flew off repeatedly, batsmen frequently had to chase after their hats and bowlers who wanted to hit the stumps realised they had to aim for the square leg umpire - it left many of us wondering whether wind has ever stopped play.

RUASCC did well to restrict the runs in the last ten overs, during which time Main trapped Ali LBW for 72 and Zia enticed Wigmore (109) down the pitch just enough for Dip to complete the stumping. The two new batsmen couldn’t get going and the innings rather petered out.

RUASCC need 220 runs to win in 41 overs.

First over. Eagle. Maiden.

Keeping his place as opener, Carpenter’s first ball was a leg side full toss and it disappeared for four as the albino Sehwag set off like a train. He found the boundary three times and had scored 18 out of a total of 22 when he tried to pull a ball that didn’t get up and was clean bowled. Shortly afterwards Eagle worked a textbook four over gully but then an equally textbook edge to second slip ended his day on five.

This brought Ward and Zia together at 32-2 in the ninth over. Most would agree that there was still a bit of work to do at this point, and considering RUASCC’s collapse the previous day it seemed wise for numbers five, six, seven, eight and nine to get padded up just in case - but over after over passed and no wickets fell. Some produced only one or two singles (and several leg byes) but the majority went for a run a ball or more and the two batsmen settled in for the long haul.

Ward, who had only batted twice this season scoring a total of 15 runs, thumped a massive six into the hedge at mid-wicket and the score passed 100 in just the 18th over. Zia, already in decent form going into the match, carried on where he left off against Greys, using his feet well to drive and pulling anything worth pulling for four. Having reached his first fifty of the season Zia was lucky to escape when he was dropped not once, not twice, but three times when he offered chances that any RUASCC fielder would easily have also dropped.

Ward nudged plenty of leg side singles and then brought up his own fifty by calmly sweeping a full toss down to the fine leg boundary. By the 30th over fewer than fifty runs were needed and this time RUASCC weren’t about to ruin it. A wide from Osborn brought up the 200 in another over costing ten runs and it was fitting that each batsman hit one more boundary in the 39th over when a full toss was thumped over mid-wicket by Zia to finish the match. The pair had added 191 runs in 30 overs while Dip, Tom Weeks and Bruce Main sat padded up, sheltering from the wind as best they could, unable to believe what they were seeing. A quite remarkable performance and a resounding win by eight wickets with two overs to spare.

RUASCC Highlight: The sensational unbroken 191 stand for the third wicket – the highest I’ve seen in my time with the club.

RUASCC Man of the Match: Scoring 69 not out will usually win you this award, but not when your teammate scores 90 not out having already bowled 19 economical overs. Nice try Wardy, but it’s Zia again.

Zia’s Weekend Stats: 122 unbeaten runs in two innings with figures of 7-111 from 32 overs. And a catch. Zia’s batting average so far this season is 111.5.

RUASCC Team: Eagle (capt), Carpenter, Ward, Zia, Dip (wkt), Weeks, Main, Blake, Stewart, Ashman, Withers

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Greys Green (A) - 21.5.11

Greys Green 181-6 dec.
Zia 5-39, Withers 1-42

RUASCC 167 all out
Carpenter 35, Malde 35

RUASCC lost by 14 runs.

Right, there are two match reports to write this weekend so let’s get this one over with shall we.

When ten-man RUASCC won the toss for the fourth time in five matches, Tranter stuck the home side in to bat and plugged the Patel-shaped hole in our field with local boy Harry Sims. Withers and Greenhalf opened the bowling and there was very little drama in the first hour of play; in fact, typically, it was only when Zia came on that the wickets started tumbling. In his very first over he induced some indecisiveness from Cross and the batsman played on to his stumps for 16. 52-1.

Withers piled on the pressure with consecutive maidens but again selflessly left the glory to his teammates, this week allowing Zia to rip through the top order as Greys collapsed from 76-1 to 82-5. First Holroyd was caught behind for 19 then three ducks followed (two bowled, one catch by Greenhalf at mid-on). With 30 overs gone Greys were 86-5; Withers had bowled 15 overs for 26 runs and Zia had 5-22.

Sensing the need to up the run rate, opener Mo Shafqat targeted the change bowlers as Jagesh (0-23), Ashman (0-20) and Tranter (0-19) tried without success to dislodge him. He was well supported by Howse, batting with a runner, who contributed a useful unbeaten 33 to the sixth wicket stand.

Withers returned to bowl the final over before tea and his tidy figures took some hammer as Shafqat hit a six and four to move to 98, but Withers was finally rewarded on the final ball of the innings when Shafqat skied his shot to Zia at mid-off who took the catch. Greys 181-6.

RUASCC need 182 runs to win.

With only half a batting line up to speak of the onus was on the top five to get runs and, to be fair, they all did.

After the obligatory opening maiden to Eagle the RUASCC reply got off to a decent start as Carpenter cleared the short leg side boundary as early as the fourth over. Eagle hit two fours in succession off the left-arm seamer before Carpenter launched another maximum. The fifty partnership came up in the eleventh over and all was going swimmingly until Carpenter dabbed the ball to cover point and immediately set off for a single which Eagle enthusiastically refused. Poor Carpenter, run out for 35, stormed back to the pavilion whereupon he fashioned a wax doll of Dr Eagle and stuck pins in its elbow.

At number three, giving batting another try, was Andy Greenhalf fresh from his two golden ducks on the last bank holiday weekend. A massive cheer greeted his survival of the first ball after which he belted his second ball for four. Meanwhile Dr Eagle was accumulating nicely despite some unexplained elbow pain but a moment of indecision against Cusden resulted in him being bowled despite going both forward and back to the delivery. Greenhalf was getting into the groove and he hit a six and a four to reach 20 before another meaty swipe picked out the man on the boundary at long off. RUASCC were 90-3 and needed 92 more to win in 18 overs.

For the next half an hour the win looked not only possible but extremely likely. Chan and Zia added runs at the required rate, neither looking in any difficulty, and Chan brought up the fifty stand with a six over everyone’s favourite short boundary – but very next ball he was gone for 35 when a similar shot went awry and was caught at the third attempt by the relieved bowler.

Needing fewer than 40 runs to win with six wickets in hand it should still have been a stroll, but with pensioner Ken Stewart batting at six there was a dangerously long tail and once Greys got into it the complexion of the game completely changed. Stewart, Tranter and Sims were all bowled for golden ducks, Ashman was run out without facing a ball and when the usually reliable Withers was bowled through the gate by Shafqat the match was over.

From 143-3 RUASCC lost their last seven wickets in five overs for 23 runs – and Zia (stranded on 32 not out) made 21 of those - as RUASCC slipped from a position of superiority to a 14-run defeat.

Still, it’s all a bit of fun isn’t it.

RUASCC Highlight: The sixes hit over the short mid-wicket boundary – Carpo, Greenhalf and Chan all got in on the act.

RUASCC Man of the Match: It’s Zia again. After taking a five wicket haul he would almost certainly have won the game with the bat had he not run out of partners. Honourable mention too for Chan who made 35 and kept wicket very tidily indeed.

RUASCC Team: Eagle, Carpenter, Greenhalf, Malde (wkt), Zia, Stewart, Tranter (capt), Jagesh, Sims, Ashman, Withers

Apologies: Dip Patel, Dersh Patel